Hi there Sarah and thank you for posting

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of both your mum and dad to cancer. This must be such a difficult time for you and I hope you have friends and family around you to support you at this sad time.

I can appreciate the questions you have in regards to your dads passing however without being involved in your dads care and without being present at the time it is impossible for us to answer.

Unfortunately some people's cancer as it grows and progresses can cause complications resulting in unpleasant symptoms. Coffee ground vomit is the result of some internal bleeding and this sadly can occur at the end of life. It can be a challenge to manage this and it is often distressing for both the patient and loved ones to encounter.

It sounds like the nurses looking after your dad as well as yourself did all you could to support him and best manage him at the end and I am sure this all helped and reassured him.

Some relatives find it helpful to speak with the doctor or nurse involved in their care after the event to help understand and process what happened at the end, so do ask about this if you would find this helpful.

Others find counselling useful as a way to express their thoughts and emotions about what they have experienced to help them through their time of grief. Cruse provides bereavement counselling but also many hospices also have bereavement counselling services. Do get in contact with one of these if you feel you would like this.

I hope this is helpful and you are able to find a way to get through this time more easily. Please get back in touch if you would like to or call us on 0808 800 4040 if you prefer. We're here weekdays 9-5.

Take care

Naomi