DENIAL - father-in-law diagnosed with leukaemia and given a year to live

My father-in-law has just been diagnosed with AML leukaemia and has been given 1 year tops. He seems to be in total denial and thinks he will feel better after chemotherapy, refuses to let us get him a wheelchair even though he is 82 and almost immobile. My wife has tried to explain that we are only trying to help but he sees a wheelchair as giving up.

  • Hello and thanks for posting

    I'm sorry to read about your father in law's AML diagnosis. This must be a difficult time for you all.

    People often experience a whole range of emotions when they’re diagnosed with cancer and denial is one of them. There’s really no right or wrong way to manage this. But we know that talking about cancer can often relieve some of the distress and anxiety. 

    It sounds like you and your wife are very supportive to your father in law. It's not uncommon for some people to see things like wheelchairs as a symbol of weakness or surrender. It's often less about the chair itself and more about what it represents, such as a loss of independence, or an admission that they are not getting better. You and your wife could gently say to your father in law that a wheelchair could help him to conserve his strength, to make it easier for him to get about, and still do things he enjoys rather than be stuck at home. He may just need more time to find his own way of coping and you may find over time that he begins to settle and he may start using a wheelchair.

    I hope this has been of some help. Give us a ring if you would like to talk anything over. The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

    Kind regards,

    Celene