Worried sick

My wife is 43, and we have two children aged 15 and 7.
My wife is currently on a referral process for possible cancer (urine leiomyosarcoma) - she had a suspected complex cyst on the ovary after ultrasound and MRI scan, which we were worried about but coping.  We received a call on Friday to say that someone else had looked at her scans, and thinks that it's not attached to her ovary and could either be a nasty fibroid (as it's quite large) or possible cancer.  We are waiting to hear back from the specialists, probably this Friday, on what needs to be done and when - they have to operate and remove whatever it is, and will not be sure what it is either way until they operate and do tests.
Obviously my wife is worried sick, and I myself am struggling to cope. I love her so much, and I'm so worried about our children if we do get bad news.
Our children do not know anything, and we are trying to act as normal as we possibly can around them.  I am also trying to be strong for my wife and say as many positive words as possible, trying to keep a brave face, as the last thing she needs if for me to go to pieces.  But I am collapsing inside.
I have experienced anxiety and depression in the past, but have been mostly OK for the last decade or so.
But my anxiety levels are now through the roof and I'm struggling to cope.  I work from home and my wife is working from home while all this is going on, as she cannot face going into work, so I can't really talk to anyone about my feelings as I'm with my wife all of the time, and need to act positively around her as she is the one going through this.
I want to be strong for her and my children, but am really struggling, and this is making things even worse.  The waiting is killing us - we have to wait to hear back for operation date, then wait for the operation, then wait at least another couple of weeks for the results.  I really don't know what to do.
Any positive advice or guidance that you can offer would be much appreciated.  
  • Hello, and thank you for posting.

    I am sorry to hear what your wife and you are going through. Waiting for tests and test results can be a very stressful and anxious time.

    It is often a time when people feel they are not in control, and it can feel that you are waiting for such a long time. There is a blog on the Macmillan Cancer Support website that you may find helpful to read.

    The difficulty is no one can say what your wife's situation is until she has the operation. In the meantime, there is no right or wrong way to deal with this. Some people find it helpful to distract themselves with daily activities such as working. I can appreciate that you might not feel this, but just being there and listening to your wife will be a big support for her.

    I hope you do not have to wait too much longer before your wife gets a date for her operation. It might be at that point the doctors will be able to give you more information.

    In the meantime, I hope you have friends and family you can both lean on. Or if you would like to talk things through with one of our nurses on the helpline, we are available between 9am and 5pm Monday to Friday freephone 0808 800 4040.

    Take care,

    Jemma