Hi there and thanks for posting

I am very sorry to hear about your husband's situation and that he is struggling to eat and losing weight.

It sounds like you are doing your very best so try and be kind to yourself. This isn't just up to you and your husband needs to take some responsibility, as difficult as it may be for him.

There are various high protein/high calorie drinks and powders that can be added to food and drinks to build patients up although sometimes it is trial and error in finding something to suit a patient. Eating something little and often can be more manageable rather than trying to get in 3 larger meals a day. There is more information about this on the putting on weight section of the website. There is also dieticians on the world cancer research fund cancer and nutrition helpline.

It is important that patients do try and maintain their current weight during radiotherapy as much as possible as this may change the target of where the dose of radiotherapy is given.

Try and explain this to your husband so he understands why it is so important that he tries to eat. Not just to maintain his weight for his treatment but also for his general health and well being and to ensure his body recovers quickly after treatment.

I hope this is helpful but do get back in touch if you need to. You are also welcome to call the helpline on 0808 800 4040 if you prefer, we are here weekdays 9-5.

All the best

Naomi

Thank you for responding. 

we’ve tried everything. He degraded down from soft food to soups to ensure meal replacements to now he can only stand coffee. He says it burns when he drinks the ensure but not coffee and water. i believe there is nothing more I can do to get him to take anything. He is not willing to push past the pain. The painkillers and several mouthwashes he’s been given is not working - according to him. He has been given the best meds but is also not willing to use them. So I’m looking for reassurance, if I leave him be, will he be okay? Or do I need to be on constant watch? 

Hello and thank you for posting,

I can appreciate that you are looking for reassurance, that it is distressing and difficult to support your husband, and that you are feeling very alone with it.

It can be so hard to see your loved one not eat, but unfortunately, this is not something that you can control, especially if they have no appetite, and it is painful. It may also take a while for your husband to get his appetite back and for the pain to improve once treatment has finished.

I know you have mentioned that the nurses have said that he needs to eat, but I wondered if the team, including the oncologist, is aware of how difficult this is for you both and how overwhelmed and exhausted you feel. As they know his situation, they would be better able to guide you on how much of a concern this is and if there is another way of managing this.

I am sorry we cannot be more helpful, and I hope that when the treatment has finished, your husband will start to recover his appetite soon.

Please do come back to us if you have any further questions,

Take care

Jemma