Hello and thanks for posting

Watching someone you love going through cancer and surgery is incredibly difficult, especially when they have other health conditions to consider. It's understandable that you are feeling anxious.

People often ask what more can they do to support their loved one. But talking and listening and being there when you can are what most people find useful. You sound incredibly supportive to your mum.

Her medical team are very experienced and the fact that she is going to be assessed by a cardiologist beforehand means that they are taking every precaution to make sure she's strong enough for the surgery.

You may find it helpful to look at the information on the Macmillan website about the support your mum may be able to get. We have some more information about support at home on our website that your mum maybe able to access through her GP.

I know that it is not easy looking after a close family member and it's important that you look after yourself. Some people find talking things through with family and friends can sometimes help. Also try and focus on what you can control right now by eating a good diet, getting enough rest, and doing some gentle activities that you enjoy, The NHS website has some useful tips on breathing exercises for stress that you might find helpful.

Your mum's healthcare team should advise you on her follow up care at home before her discharge from hospital.

I hope this is of some use. Give us a ring if you would like to talk any of this over. The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

Kind regards,

Celene

Hi Celene,

Thank you. It’s been very difficult to know how to support effectively and the lack of known variables and my own understanding of medicine makes it very difficult for me to manage my own anxiety as I feel completely helpless and unable to control anything to make it better for her.

I really appreciate you taking the time to respond.