I’m really concerned about making this post here, because I don’t want to offend anyone or make people feel bad.

I’m 16 years old, and I don’t have a cancer diagnosis. But, I have been struggling with anxiety and depression, and am currently considering going to my GP for medication after being advised by my counsellor.

One part of my anxiety is the fear of getting cancer. I want to go to university and am currently studying my A-levels, but I’m so paralysed by the fear of getting cancer young, and having to put off or even lose the chance of getting my education. It’s like a self fulfilling prophecy at this point, because this fear is causing my studies to suffer.

I am just so terrified of getting cancer young. Not to undermine the experience of those who get it older, it’s terrifying at any age! But, I am just so scared of the treatment, its side effects, the risk of losing my life, and having the essential put my life on hold and accept a ‘new normal’. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it and have to put off or risk losing out on my dreams. And, I don’t think I’d mentally be able to recover afterwards even if I did survive.

It sounds ridiculous, but I’m so scared of getting cancer that I’ve started experiencing suicidal thoughts, since I’m starting to think it would be easier to die now then get cancer.

Sorry for rambling, but I guess my question is to people with cancer right now, young or old, should I really be letting this fear hold me back? How difficult is treatment and moving on/finding yourself after cancer?

I know this site is for cancer patients, not for those suffering with anxiety. But, I wanted to hear from people who actually have the disease, since I feel their insights might give me more clarity. 

Thanks, and I hope this hasn’t offended anyone!!