Living life after prostrate cancer

At 52 I was diagnosed with prostrate cancer, I opted for surgery and recovered very quickly and was getting erections even whilst I had the catheter in. I then found out I still had cancer remaining and had 6.5weeks of radiation and hormone therapy. I am now 55 and 18 months post treatment. 

This has massively impacted my life as I have not been able to get an erection since, my penis has shrunk by almost 50% as have my testicles  and feel sore. I feel as if I’m in a constant state of mourning that I can no longer ejaculate or get any sexual satisfaction. I’ve been a very sexual man up to this point and this loss has caused me to have a major mental breakdown. I feel that I am a shadow of my former self and I try to absorb myself into things but I feel just so sad and deeply unhappy. 

I was admitted into a mental health unit and now awaiting counselling but I feel that there is nothing anyone can say to me that can change anything. Is this a normal reaction? 

  • Hello Drew 1234 and thanks for posting

    I'm sorry for all that you are going through.

    I imagine what you're experiencing is a reaction to a life changing situation. It's normal to feel that as though part of yourself is missing, especially when something as important as your sexual function has been affected. It's a vital part of how you've always experienced and expressed yourself. It's also natural to feel you're mourning the person you used to be.

    As you know many treatments for prostate cancer can affect sexual function and it is important to discuss this with your doctor about your difficulties so they can give you the support and help you need.

    We have information about sex and erection problems after treatment for prostate cancer on our website.. You may also find it helpful to contact the Sexual Support Service  at Prostate Cancer UK for further advice.

    You mention you are waiting to have counselling. Counselling can be a very helpful step in helping to process your feelings. It takes time for this happen and it's okay to take it one step at a time.

    In the meantime, it might help to connect with others who've gone through something similar. Prostate Cancer UK has an online community forum that can provide a safe space to share your feelings and hear from men what you are going through. Sometimes, hearing how others have coped can often help.

    I hope this reply helps a little. Give us a ring if you would like to talk anything over. The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

    Kind regards,

    Celene