Good evening,

I have started a new cycle of IV chemo cycle that will last until late March of 2025. I am somewhat nervous and anxious about the pain and side effects I am having in the first few days. I am aware this treatment is not supposed to be a walk in the park, but pain, worry and feeling at rock bottom is again a dark place for me.

Diagnosed with stage 4 lower anterior bowel cancer in March this year and a 7cm tumour located and lymph nodes affected, I quickly was fast tracked and received a colostomy stoma, 25 days of radiotherapy along with the oral chemo. 6 months later second major surgery to remove tumour successfully and then switch to Ileostomy.The biopsy from that op confirmed I have the cancer present in 10 lymph node’s and the only treatment available is intensive Chemo to try and mop up.

i had a bad reaction to my first IV chemo after the surgery no 1 which was similar to the symptoms of a heart attack, extremely worried the health team decided that it would be best to stop this and sain that because I have the IV in the back of my hand instead of a PICC line may have been the contributing factor.

i am looking for some advice on how to manage my recovery, I am a healthy 57 year old male who does a large amount of walking and nutritional intake, non smoking/drinking person who wants to find a way of minimising pain and mental strain. My medical staff are very helpful and supportive in offering me advice, but when speaking with them face to face I put on the illusion that I am in great shape and healthy and coping well. 

I have been ghosted by family and friends who are although sympathetic to my illness, seem reluctant to know how to deal with the situation.

Can anyone relate and recommend how to shake the feeling of being in a decline with this uncomfortable illness?

Merry Christmas to you and the team and the excellent service you provide.

Gary