Bowel cancer

Hello there I am looking for some advice my partner has bowel cancer and had operations on it before. She now says has stomach cancer. And really bad pains in her back she is currently going through chemotherapy. She also suffers from heart disease and various other problems. I have only been with her a year and a half and she told me about her problems then I don’t walk away from someone I instantly fell in love with. We don’t live together at the moment but I am hoping that will change. I am looking for advice on how I can help her more. She has so many pills for pain. If she eats a tiny bit of food.most of the time she will be really sick. I am also really worried now that I know that she is bringing up blood when she is sick. Also she is loosing blood from the rear too when she eventually poos. All I want to do is help as much as I can and be there for her as much as I can. It is really worrying me that this has spread and I am not being told all of it. I don’t know wheee to turn for help with me coping with this as she don’t want help from anyone I understand she doesn’t want me there.when chemo is happening because she wants to get it done and get home wheee she can be round people she loves and try’s to put it in the back of her mind. My mental health is now getting worse than ever before I am crying without her knowing because I am worried I don’t know how long she might have I am trying to be the best for her and her children and trying to make things happen Halloween bonfire night and now Christmas because I don’t know if it will be the last one  basically I am trying to find out what help and support I can get without my partner knowing or worrying about me. Because it’s really really affecting me and my health and lack of sleep because I am awake most nights trying to find answers and then I am getting depressed and Ill and I can’t show her. Is there anything I can do plz. Much appreciated if someone does reply to this. 

  • Hi Peter McA9 and thanks for posting.

    I am sorry to learn of your partner's situation this must be such a difficult time for you both.

    If you find your partner's illness is affecting your mental health it might be worth having a chat with your GP as they may be able to help with this. Also, I wondered if you had a close friend or relative who you can confide in and who will support you.

    You may find it helpful to read our information on how to support someone with cancer which advises on how to give both emotional and physical support. There is also information for friends and relatives about taking care of themselves whilst supporting someone with cancer.

    Maggie's is a national charity with centres across the UK that offers care and support to people affected by cancer. They are often attached to a hospital and there may be one where your partner is being treated where you can just drop in, an appointment isn't necessary.

    I hope this helps a little. If you would like to speak with one of our cancer information nurses you are welcome to call us. The freephone number to ring is 0808 800 4040 and is available between 9 am and 5 pm Monday to Friday.

    Take care,

    Jemma