Hi Rwill,

I just came across your post and wanted to offer you a very warm welcome to the forum and to let you know that I am thinking of you.

I can't even begin to imagine how upsetting, and heart-breaking, this must be for you and your family but we are here for you Rwill and sending you all our support.

Our nurses don't work in the evenings on the forum, but they will reply to your post as soon as they can when they are back in the office tomorrow.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi rwill and thank you for your post.

I am sorry to read about your dad, this must be an extremely difficult time for you and all the family.

It is hard for us to comment on your dad’s situation as we are not involved in his care.  However his hospital team should be able to advise you further on what is happening right now, so do ask to talk to them.  

He may have been referred already to the hospital's palliative care team.  This team consists of doctors and specialised nurses who have extensive experience with patients like your dad. They are also a great support to loved ones and are useful at explaining what is happening and why. So do check with his nurses that they have been referred to.

Unfortunately, no one can say how long someone may live with cancer that isn't being treated as everyone is different.  Unfortunately, your Dad does sound very poorly, so all the time that you can spend together as a family is important. Although we do not know what unconscious patients can hear, relatives are usually advised to talk to them as if they are awake. Some people play their favourite music, read bits from books or the papers, or talk about family memories whilst in the room.

This is a very hard time for you all, but you may have some questions that you need answers to. If you can there is information on our website, that will be hard to read, but may be helpful at this time.

Please get back to us if you need any more information or support.  You may find it helpful to talk things through with one of the nurses on our helpline.  The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9 am till 5 pm, Monday to Friday.

Kind regards,

Tina