Hi everyone,

My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer back in January at the age of 62. He has a large tumor in his upper left lung, which has caused his voice to become hoarse, and there are small metastases in his pelvis. So far, he’s undergone one round of chemotherapy and palliative radiotherapy. The doctors are aiming to get him well enough for immunotherapy, but since starting chemo, he’s been in and out of the hospital with chest infections, nausea, lethargy, and low haemoglobin.

Before all this, he worked full-time as a joiner and was relatively healthy, though he was a heavy smoker for many years. He continued smoking during chemo but has now fully quit. However, he’s lost a significant amount of weight and barely eats anything. His wife is extremely caring, works full-time, and is doing her best to support him, but my dad is quite stubborn and refuses any help outside of what she provides.

I’m reaching out to hear about others' experiences. Did anyone see a turning point in similar situations? Right now, it feels like he’s not getting a real chance to improve enough for active treatment to shrink the tumor. The chemo and radiotherapy didn’t reduce the tumor, but thankfully, nothing has grown or spread further. I’m concerned that he’s mentally exhausted, on the verge of giving up, and possibly severely depressed. Also, due to losing his voice he's finding it hard to properly communicate without getting frustrated.

Any advice, stories, or tips on how to support him would be greatly appreciated. We have a really strong relationship, speak most days and I'm in contact with his specialist nurse. I’m a former ICU nurse, though I’ve been out of practice for over five years, so I have some medical knowledge therefore I can worry that his care isn’t progressing as quickly as it should be, and he feels starting from scratch every time he’s hospitalised. 

Love to connect :-)