Hello Reen and thanks for your post,

I am sorry to hear about your situation. This must be a very difficult time for your family.

I can also understand how painful it is to ask the questions that you want to ask.

It is really important that you do have these questions answered even if it is for peace of mind. Your dad might have a lung cancer nurse or a palliative care nurse who can talk to you and your dad.

I am sure that if the doctors felt that your dad would benefit from treatment such as chemotherapy or radiotherapy they would consider offering it to him.

In deciding whether to treat a patient the doctors need to decide how a patient would cope with any treatment and how safe it would be to give a patient treatment.

The kidneys and liver need to be working well. As a patient gets older and when they have cancer these often don't work so well. Chemotherapy can come with very toxic side effects and a patient needs to be well enough to receive them. 

Doctors have sometimes got to make a judgement as to what is in a patient's best interest. It may be helpful for you to try and be with your dad at his next appointment so you are hearing the information at the same time.

I do hope that you are getting support from friend's and family if you would like to talk any of this through with one of the nurses on the help line you are welcome to give us a ring. The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

All the best,

Catherine

He has diabetes,  history of gangrene and had toes amputated 2 years ago has urine amd stole incontinence,  his medical background isn't very clear as he has moved about etc but I do know the cancer is in lymph nodes and bones now , 

We are waiting on doctors to see him regards to pain management , he had a dermatology appointment yesterday , due to fungal infections in remaining toes and feet, 

He is currently in a nursing home , but not long been in there so they are not 100% what his case file is yet so do t really know who to speak to regarding his care etc , 

Thank you for explaining the chemo option now you said that I can understand why he can't have it, heartbreaking is an understatement but I do understand, 

Hi Reen, thank you for explaining your dad's situation further.

It sounds like your dad has a lot going on with his health and I can appreciate this is difficult for you all.

I was unsure what doctors your dad is waiting to see to help manage the pain whether it is the team at the hospital or his GP. I wondered if he also had the palliative care team involved in his care. The reason I say this is they are specialised in managing symptoms such as pain and are also good support for the family.

I don't know if is possible for you to talk to the staff in the care home to see if you can speak with the GP who is in charge of his care and find out how they plan to manage his future care. You can also ask if your dad can be referred to the community palliative care team to help manage his symptoms.

Take care Reen, do come back to us again if you need to.

All the best

Jemma

I'm with dad now and I'm on my way to speak to the nurse at the care home I will ask everything you suggested,  thank you , I will do and try anything to get him help , xx

I spoken to the nurse they did as you suggested and he's now on morphine along with his normal pain medication, 

He is having more and more seizures now amd when he comes around he's holding me crying saying his mum is here and scaring him , he saying she is talking to him but it's mumbled and he can't understand her, he said its like she's calling for him but he don't want to go , she's scaring him, I do t know what to say to him I asked the nurse but she said try talk calmly to him amd reasure him he's safe and he's still with us , 

Is this a sign of things to come is this a sign it could be coming to hos end. I really don't know what to expect or what to do or say to him ,