Hello and thanks for your post

I'm sorry to read about your friend and your previous cancer diagnosis. I imagine this is a difficult time for you both.

Your friend's post operative recovery will depend on the type of surgery they have and their general health. But you can read more about what may happen following mouth cancer surgery on our website.

People often ask what more can they do to support someone going through cancer but talking and listening and being there when you can are what most people find useful. Sometimes it can be better to ask your friend what they would find most helpful for you to do for them. For example, they may really appreciate you taking on some light housework, getting shopping in, visiting them in hospital or taking them to and from hospital appointments when you can. 

We have some information on our website about cancer and emotions and tips for ways of coping. Macmillan Cancer Support have information on  supporting a friend with cancer that may be useful.

I hope this helps. Please get back to us if you have need any more information or support.  You may find it helpful to talk things through with one of the nurses on our helpline.  The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

Kind regards,

Celene

Thanks so much Celene

Speaking from my experience, there were a few things that were difficult once out of hospital post surgery. Obviously eating is a whole challenge - protein shakes are gross so I was immediately on the hunt for food that would taste good in mush version, harder than you'd think! Basic meat and two veg options tasted best, possibly due to the loss of some taste buds, so we had fun finding new ways to make meat and gravy soups. Interestingly Haggis was a good find, it works well with gravy so made a nice savoury option that we added potatoes to over time to bulk up. Even after solids became a thing, normal foods caused unforeseen issues. Bread was 'claggy' and really hard to manipulate. Crispy things hurt to eat, especially around scar tissue. Crumbly things were a nightmare to manipulate and got stuck in uncomfortable places. Salty and Sweet became overwhelming, so things like crisps tasting horrid. Interestingly spicy things became more tolerable...

One of the other things that I struggled with was eating in a 'polite' way, ie not dribbling and remembering to take small enough amounts of food in so I didn't need to spit things out or use my fingers to move bits around my mouth due to my tongue not working the same way as it did. All a bit disgusting and not something most want others to see, so be prepared if it's a long while before you get asked over/out to eat!

Talking was a bit of a challenge too, I still have a slight lisp, my friends tell me it's in my head, but you may find it's something very noticeable to the person involved. It made me horribly self conscious for months after the surgery as I do a lot of communication in my job and I thought it was really obvious (still do!).

In the main, the physical recovery was not the biggest challenge for me, it was the repercussions that came after, the food challenges, the ways of eating and speaking. These have all been ongoing things that play on my mind alot well after the wounds healed up.

My advice would be that your friend will probably be very self conscious about these things when in public, so don't take it to heart if they don't want to be out or eating around others for a good while after. It will get better eventually as things settle down and the sensitivity lessens. I hope that helps even a little bit!

dx

Thank you so much for your amazing response. I do hope you are well and continue to thrive! Take care.