Hello and thanks for your post,

I can understand what a difficult situation you feel that you are in not knowing much about your mum's cancer.

It is good to hear that your mum is doing well despite the doctors poor prognosis. It is difficult for doctors to be too precise about how long someone is going to go on for. Some patients go on slightly longer then doctors predict and sadly others don't last as long as a doctor thought. A lot will depend on a patient's health.

Everyone has a different way of coping with a cancer diagnosis and your mum may not want to burden you with her cancer which is why she does not want to discuss it.

I am not sure if she is being followed up by the hospital or the GP and whether you could ask if you can attend some of her appointments with her so you can get more of an insight into what is going on. 

Offering to help with house work and shopping and any small chores around the house may help support her. Unfortunately, if she does not want to share her condition with you then there is very little you can do.

You could ask her if she is not keen to talk about her condition would she be able to give permission for you to speak to her specialist/palliative care nurse instead so you are able to help support as time goes on.

We have some information on our website about supporting someone with cancer which you can see here and how you can help support yourself which is also so important, have a look here

I do hope that as time goes on your mum may be able to share more.

If you or your mum would like to ring and chat with one of the helpline nurses then you are welcome to give us a call.

Our number is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and we are here Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm.

All the best,

Catherine

My best friend had oesophageal cancer. He lived for 14 years after diagnosis. He worked almost to the end. There is always hope.