Hello and thanks for your post,

It is natural to worry when a close family member is going through different tests and you also don't know what to expect.

Try if you can not to overthink it for now. It is not until the doctors have assessed your mum and done further tests that they can give their opinion as to the cause of her symptoms that you will both know any more.

Google is so general and will not replace the information that the doctors will get from their assessment.

It can be helpful for someone to go with your mum as there is often a lot of information to take on board.

If at any stage you or your mum would like to ring and discuss any of this with one of the nurses on the helpline then you are very welcome to give us a ring.

Our number is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and we are here Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm.

All the best,

Catherine

Thank you for your reply.

Unfortunately they have found a mass and just by looking they can tell its possibly cancerous, is this 100%?

I have so many questions...we now have to wait to make sure they can operate to remove it...what if they can't operate?

I'm absolutely devastated.

Many Thanks 

Hi, so my mum went for her pre op check up today and she's not well enough for the operation yet so they are admitting her on Monday and will build her system up ready for surgery.

Also on a positive note it doesn't look like it's spread so there is still a chance it can be benign, they wouldn't of said that if it was definitely cancer so I'm holding on to that thought. 

Just all keeping our fingers crossed she'll soon be well enough and it is benign.

I will keep you updated, thank you for your support.

Xx

HI LuLu,

I am sorry to hear that your Mum's not fit enough to undergo surgery yet, but glad to hear that they are admitting her into hospital on Monday, to build her up. There certainly is a positive in all this, if there is still a chance that it could be benign. I sincerely hope that this urns out to be the case. How does your mum feel about going into hospital?

Here's hoping that a rest in hospital will help her to get well enough very soon.

Please keep in touch and let us know how she gets on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi so my mum is still in hospital. They found blood clots in her legs and lung. So she's on blood thinner injections.

She is having fluid drained on Tuesday to hopefully reduced the swelling in her legs and help her get fitter for surgery.

Also the surgery is high risk, she's done a DNR I'm really fearing the worst. 

Is there any reassurance that all this has gone well? 

I can't stop crying today.

Thank you 

Hi LuLu,

I am sorry to hear that your mum is still in hospital, although it sounds as if it is fortunate that she went in and has been having treatment for the blood clots. Between this and the swelling, it's no wonder that she was having difficulty walking. She should notice a big difference when they aspirate some fluid on Tuesday and hopefully this will make her feel more comfortable.

I can understand her wanting to have a DNR in place for her surgery, but her care team will do all in their power to get her fit and well again. I shall be thinking of her on Tuesday.  Please keep in touch and let us know how she gets on.

This is a very stressful time for both of you, so it's no wonder that you can't stop crying. This is normal, but crying is a great stress reliever, so don't worry about this. Just try not to cry in front of your mum. 

Remember that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you it's very emotional. I can't help thinking the worst, they will get as much out as they can but if things dont go well they will have to close her back up and leave it, she also might also to go into Intensive care after the operation. I take it they have to tell you all worse case aswell?  I'm absolutely dreading the day.

Yes I'm staying as strong as I can for my mum but breakdown at home. I'm also a single mum so need to stay strong for my kids so I just fall apart when on my own and have no partner to lean on so its very difficult.

I just want it all to be over and get her home and well, but I'm so afraid of losing her.

Thank you so much for your reply, I will keep as positive as I can.

Thank you 

Hi LuLu,

Instead of thinking only of the worst case outcome, try to make the most of every day that you do have with your mum and make as many precious memories as you can. They don't mince their words when telling you all of the possibilities, but they have to do this. It doesn't mean that the worst is going to happen. I lost my own mum to secondary breast cancer, so I know just how hard this all is. It must be especially difficult when you are on your own. Do you have a friend, who you could confide in? It really does help to talk. 

Thinking of you both and keeping everything crossed for Tuesday.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hello LuLu0915 and thanks for posting

I am sorry to hear your mum is still in hospital, this must be a very worrying time for all the family and it is understandably to be upset.

Unfortunately without anyone here being directly involved in your mum's care it is difficult to comment on her situation so do talk this through with the team of doctors and nurses involved.

It sounds like the doctors for the moment are currently focusing on treating the blood clots and getting your mum fitter and stronger so she can have surgery.

At times like this it is best to take things one day at a time rather than looking too far into the future. However do ask the doctors any questions you have to keep yourself as informed and updated as possible about what is happening.

Please get back to us if you need any more information or support.  You may find it helpful to talk things through with one of the nurses on our helpline.  The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

Wishing you and your mum all the very best,

Take care

Naomi

Hi LuLu,

I was thinking of you and wonder how your Mum coped on Tuesday?

Kind Regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine

Thank you for your concern. Unfortunately they couldn't drain it as the pockets was too small and would just fill up again. So shes no better off.

They said they want to put filters in to stop the blood clots moving and then get her in for surgery so waiting for a date for it all.

They have sent her home in the meantime so just hoping they get her back in soon as I'm worried the longer they leave it the worse things will get again. 

I've allsorts running through my mind, the risks of surgery and if they don't get it all! It's all so worrying!

Thanks again for asking. Hopefully I'll update with more news soon.

Xx

Hi Lulu,

I am so sorry to hear that they were unable to drain off some of your mum's fluid and hope that it won't be too long before they take her back in to operate. I understand your concern about the risks involved, but this should improve her quality of life tremendously, once it's all done.

I'm hoping and praying for a good outcome and I'm always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Lulu,

I am so sorry to hear that they were unable to drain off some of your mum's fluid and hope that it won't be too long before they take her back in to operate. I understand your concern about the risks involved, but this should improve her quality of life tremendously, once it's all done.

I'm hoping and praying for a good outcome and I'm always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you so much Jolamine, you have reassured me as im really worrying about the operation.

She's happy to be home at the moment, but hoping we aren't waiting long for a date. 

I will keep you updated.

Thank you

Xx

Hi LuLu,

I know just how scary this all is, but from my own mum's experience and my own, there's a lot to quality of life over quantity. Sadly, I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer which had spread to her liver, lungs, brain and bone. She also had Ascites (the fluid build up) and a number of other medical risks. She had the fluid aspirated a few times and it made a great difference each time. I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer and encountered a number of problems along the way, but none of these problems disappear, unless you face them head on.

The sooner her appointment comes through, the less time there will be for both of you to worry about it.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx