Hello Clovellely and thank you for your post,

I am sorry to read the sad news about your dad, this must be a difficult time for you and your family.

I was unsure of your dad's exact situation and unclear about your dad having 'class A drugs'. This term refers to illegal drugs such as heroin or cocaine. Drugs such as morphine are used legally as pain relief and are known as controlled drugs.  

It sounds like the last weeks with your dad were difficult with his behaviour changing towards both you and your mum. As a cancer information nurse not involved with your dad's care, I am unable to say what caused this change, whether or not it was caused by the medication that he was on. Sometimes the cancer itself can cause behaviour changes for example if it has spread to the brain.

When someone has cancer and is possibly dying, this can affect them emotionally in different ways. A person may go through several different emotions such as fear, anxiety and depression which in turn can cause anger.  It may be possible that your dad did not realise the impact his behaviour was having on your family. We have further information on our website which you may find helpful to read here.

You can go through many feelings after a relative has died and they can often be quite complex, especially when someone's behaviour has changed. It might be worth seeing if you can talk to your dad's specialist or someone from the palliative care team, (if they were involved in his care), about his last few weeks and any concerns you may have with his medication and his behaviour. As they know what his situation was, they may be able to give you more of an idea why his behaviour had changed.

You may also want to think about having bereavement counselling, which may be helpful for both you and your mum to come to terms with what you have been through. The organisation Cruse can help with this. Their details can be found here.

On our website, we have information on the different stages of grief after someone dies which can be found here.

I do hope this reply helps in some way. Please get back to us if you need any more information or support.  You may find it helpful to talk things through with one of the nurses on our helpline.  The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

Take care,

Jemma

Hello Clovellely and thank you for your post,

I am sorry to read the sad news about your dad, this must be a difficult time for you and your family.

I was unsure of your dad's exact situation and unclear about your dad having 'class A drugs'. This term refers to illegal drugs such as heroin or cocaine. Drugs such as morphine are used legally as pain relief and are known as controlled drugs.  

It sounds like the last weeks with your dad were difficult with his behaviour changing towards both you and your mum. As a cancer information nurse not involved with your dad's care, I am unable to say what caused this change, whether or not it was caused by the medication that he was on. Sometimes the cancer itself can cause behaviour changes for example if it has spread to the brain.

When someone has cancer and is possibly dying, this can affect them emotionally in different ways. A person may go through several different emotions such as fear, anxiety and depression which in turn can cause anger.  It may be possible that your dad did not realise the impact his behaviour was having on your family. We have further information on our website which you may find helpful to read here.

You can go through many feelings after a relative has died and they can often be quite complex, especially when someone's behaviour has changed. It might be worth seeing if you can talk to your dad's specialist or someone from the palliative care team, (if they were involved in his care), about his last few weeks and any concerns you may have with his medication and his behaviour. As they know what his situation was, they may be able to give you more of an idea why his behaviour had changed.

You may also want to think about having bereavement counselling, which may be helpful for both you and your mum to come to terms with what you have been through. The organisation Cruse can help with this. Their details can be found here.

On our website, we have information on the different stages of grief after someone dies which can be found here.

I do hope this reply helps in some way. Please get back to us if you need any more information or support.  You may find it helpful to talk things through with one of the nurses on our helpline.  The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

Take care,

Jemma