Hello

im so very sorry to hear about your mother.

My fiancé was given 'a few months at best' in Nov 22.

hHes had seizures and near death - now he's been given weeks, but he's battling through.

Hes so positive and happy it breaks my heart but he's still here defying the odds!

he's not in pain as he has a driver fitted three weeks ago.

sending positive energy and prayers to you xx

Hello Vickielou and thanks for posting, 

I am very sorry to learn about your mother-in-law and can understand how challenging a situation this must be for you and your family.

It isn't possible to predict exactly what will happen in the months ahead. Sometimes something sudden can occur, for example, the tumour might cause a bleed on the brain and rapid deline, but more often, the health of people with brain tumours deteriorates gradually. 

Life can still go on in a relatively normal way for a while but sooner or later the tumour will start to cause problems to a varying degree and it is difficult to say when this will occur.

Brain tumours can cause headaches and sickness, but these can often be controlled with painkillers and anti-sickness medicine. Some people who have never had seizures (fits), might have some but anti-epileptic medication can be given if this happens.

When brain tumours grow, the pressure inside the head increases and can start to cause drowsiness. It might be possible to control this with steroids, but eventually, the steroids stop working. So people often become drowsy and sleep more than they used to.  

 Depending on where the tumour is in the brain and what type of function that location usually controls, tumours can cause specific problems for explain weakness in the limbs and balance and speech issues.

Gradually people usually need to sleep more and more and it may become more difficult to wake them up.  Eventually, most people slip into unconsciousness before they die.

When active treatment ends patients go back to being looked after by their GP who can refer to community palliative care teams.  These are teams of doctors and nurses who specialise in looking after people with incurable conditions and managing their symptoms to improve or maintain quality of life. They are also involved in decisions about end of life care.  I am not sure how well your mother in law is at the moment, but a palliative care referral may be something to ask about now or at a later date. 

Our website has a coping with cancer section that might be worth looking at. This includes information about talking to children about cancer and when the time comes, supporting children when someone is dying. 

Please give us a ring if you want to talk anything over, our number is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and we are available weekdays 9-5.

Best wishes,

Julia

Hi Vickielou,

I'm sorry to hear about your mum-in-law. Two of my friends have recently passed away from melanoma that metastasized to the brain and I saw the deterioration they suffered. I'm not happy to talk about their situation in the public forum so I've sent you a friend request. If you accept it, I can send you a private message explaining their experience.

I wish your mum-in-law well and hope she is comfortable and receives all the support that should be arranged by either her hospital team or her GP.

Angie (Stage 3 melanoma patient since 2009)

Angie T 

my fiancé is end of life brain metastases please can you tell me too please

Hi Cindylou,

I've sent you a friend request. Please accept it so that we can chat by private message. xx