Hi JulieGreg69 and thanks for posting.

I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your dad, it must be a stressful time for you all.

It can be very frightening not knowing what to expect at times like these, but the most important thing is to try and help your dad be as comfortable as possible.  

You mentioned that he has been referred for palliative care and has carers coming in to help him.  Talking to the palliative care nurses and carers can provide more information on what is happening as they know your dad.  The nurses may be coming in regularly and might pick up signals that he may be nearing the end of life,  so do talk to them and ask any questions you may have. 

We have information about what happens in the final weeks and days of life here. However it isn't easy to predict how someone will be, as every person is different.  Many will have a gradual deterioration where they will become less well, start eating and drinking less and become more tired, sleepy, which may be what is happening with your dad.  Others can more suddenly take a turn for the worse with no real warning sign.

You said your mum was finding the situation very stressful, sometimes it is helpful to talk to the palliative team about alternatives to being at home if she is struggling.  It may be that both your parents want your dad to stay at home, but perhaps both of you speaking to the nurses about caring for someone who is dying and any extra support that is available may be useful.  There is some information here that might help.

It is important to get support for yourself during these times too. The palliative care team might be able to suggest local organisations. We also have some ideas on our website about taking care of yourself during these times here.

I hope this is helpful, but please do get back to us if you need any more information or support.  You might like to talk things through with one of the nurses on our helpline.  The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

Take care,

Rachel