How to cope with denial

Can anyone advise how I help best support my husband who seems to be in denial that he may have cancer. No official diagnosis as yet. He's had a scan and there's a mass in his abdomen. He's lost a lot of weight and has a borderline low white cell count. Thing is he won't chase anything up as I think he's in denial bless him now thinking it's just stress. All he's had is the scan and  no results yet. He's supposed to have been on a 2ww but has no named consultant or hospital contact and only the scan. He's asked me to sort access to medical notes online which I have so can see no results back yet but he feels there's no urgency to chase things and won't even use the c word! I know it's his decision how to deal with all this but I'm so scared 

  • Hi Picklepenguin, 

    Thank you for posting in our Ask the Nurses topic area. The nurse team is out of the office for the festive period.

    The office reopens on Wednesday 28th to 30th Dec 9 am to 5 pm. Then closed 5 pm 30th Dec, back on 3rd Jan 2023 to 6th Jan, as normal 9 am to 5 pm.

    They will reply as soon as they can but you’re also welcome to contact them on 0808 800 4040 during opening hours.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hello and thanks for your post,

    I am sorry to hear that you are both waiting for results for your husband. I can imagine how unsettling it must be for you both.

    Any results to do with the scan will probably not be able to be accessed on line as the doctors are probably waiting for the results and then will probably tell your husband face to face or over the phone. If cancer is suspected they may want to perform other tests to help diagnose his condition. Unfortunately it can sometimes take a little while to find out the cause of symptoms.

    If the scan shows any areas of concern I am sure that his doctors will be in touch to let him know and how they are planning to investigate it further.

    It is scary waiting for results and people react to results in different ways. I am sure that your husband is aware that there is a possibility that cancer may be there but it is also important to have an open mind and not think too far ahead.

    With the Christmas period there have been the inevitable bank holiday delays but as everything gets back to normal next week hopefully someone will be in touch with your husband.

     You are both more then welcome to ring and chat this through with one of the nurses on the helpline. Our number is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and we are here Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm.

    All the Best,

    Catherine