Hi there, 

My partner (40) was diagnosed with Light Chain Multiple Myeloma (stage 3) in September 2022. 
The diagnosis came about because in July 22 he'd been exeperiencing fatigue and mood swings. 
Called the GP with suspected testosterone drop (had used some anabolic steroids years ago and thought this may have been why). Full blood count done and all was ok except for his kidneys, these were showing as only functioning at 30%.
Went to A&E same day for retest and results were the same. Referred to Renal consultant who arranged kidney biopsy. 
July turned into August and still no explanation as to why there weren't working right. Then, a call from the renal consultant advised protein found on blood tests were showing as coming from bone marrow so referred to Haematologist. 
Bone marrow biopsy and full body MRI arranged and unfortunately, our worst nightmare was confirmed. 
His light chains were 4044 and stage 3 was advised. 
He's now on his 2nd (of 4) cycle of treatment and they've referred him for a SCT Jan/Feb23.

MRI confirmed (thankfully) there's no lesions or tumours througout his bones so this was a sliver of good news, however, hes been having back pain (from the noises and moans, I'd say it's coming across as exruciating pain) for the past month/6 weeks. He was prescribed codeine but he says it's not taking the pain away. We took him to our local urgent care who gave him a dose of Diazapam - he slept for 5hrs straight but said the pain is still there. Contacted the consultant and she arranged a spinal xray in fear of fractures/breaks/compression - all clear. 
He's just been for a spinal MRI (i think the consultant arranged this to put his mind at rest as much as for confirmation).
He says stood still or sat, pain is a 4 but when getting up from a chair, he's panicking about spasms and pain.
Bending ect is upto a 6/7 and he went in to a bit of a spasm the other day on the bed and said the pain was a 9.

I think more than the actual pain, he's so overly anxious because of things he's read or seen online, that maybe he's convinced himself so much that he believes it's worse than maybe it may be?

He's always been quite anxious around health but (understandably) due to the diagnosis, I think this has gone through the roof. 

I've tried speaking to him (he's a really open book, however gets very defensive and often feels that he's being 'attacked' when people 'challenge' his views/give constructive critisism or even offer advice/alternative routes of action etc) and offered up a view of possible health anxiety, whilst acknowledging his pain. He seems to agree but then it's back to square one again the next morning. 

We have 2 children, both work full time, a dog to walk and a house to maintain - at the moment, he's spending his days sleeping on the sofa (codeine and adjusting to on/off insomnia from treatment) and has now had another week off work. 
I tried gently offering up some "routine" ideas i.e. make sure to drink 2L water a day, gentle walk round the house/garden/street each time he's due to take another paracetamol/codeine (every 3hrs - that way he can rest inbetween if needed), setting a bed time and removing phones at least 30-60mins before sleep on days that he doesn't have the insomnia - all of which in turn could help him mentally as well as physically. He says it's a good idea and then the same night, he's been asleep all day but then when awake, on his phone until 1-2am and then only waking when the kids are off to school, then back on the sofa sleeping again. 

I've said he could maybe speak to someone outside of the family for an independant view/advice, but he says he's happy enough just speaking to me when he feels he needs to (in all fairness, we are a very open family and always talk things through). 

I'm worried he's in a rabbit hole and is digging more and more re. health anxiety for his back. He's just about been given the all clear for any skeletal issues but he's adamant its bone/spine pain, no medications are working etc etc. 
I'm also tired. Drained and find myself shutting off a little, knowing that I'm the one holding things together.
Making sure the kids/dog/house/work are tended to, as well as getting him to his treatments every week (hospital is almost an hour away each way) and then making the impromptu trips for scans/checks/xrays that would be otherwise unrequired if it weren't for his worry.

I suppose, after all of the above, I'm just merely looking for an outside perspective/advice?
My (non-medical) suspicion is that, after an extremely traumatic start to his cancer chapter, he's now (understandbly) suffering with health anxiety, and whilst I believe he does suffer with back pain, that maybe the 'anxiety' is worsening this for him, as opposed to the pain being physically as intense as it actually seems for him?

I must also add that my father was diagnosed with a rare GIST cancer after an out of the blue massive internal bleed in April 22 and now my mother has since been diagnosed with skin cancer in October 22 (it's been a hell of 6months!)

(sorry for the rambling!).

Thanks :)