I was diagnosed with HERS2 breast cancer in August of this year, unfortunately as it has spread to my bones and liver, it is not curable. I strated chemotherapy very quickly after diagnosis and have been having weekly chemotherapy, hormone injections every three weeks and have had one bone infusion with futher infusions due every three months. When I initially agreed to treatment my understanding was that I would initially have 12/18 sessions of chemo, with the other treatments carrying on once that had ended. Obviously I was aware that I may have further chemo and/or other treatments later on but thought this would be as required and there would be a break between that and my initial treatment. 

However I attended my chemo session today and the nurse briefly went over the results of a recent CT Scan which has shown that the tumours have shrunk, so I will likely carry on to 18 treatments and provided the CT scan at that stage shows progress, I would just carry on with chemotherapy until it stops working. I asked if this basically meant I would receive chemotherapy indefinitely and they agreed that was a good way to see it. 

It's probably my fault for not asking the right questions when I agreed to treatment but I really have no wish to carry on with weekly chemotherapy on an indefinite basis. It's making me utterly miserable and I can't see much point in prolonging my life only to be alive but unhappy. I could cope with it when there was some sort of (at least temporary) end in sight but this is just purgatory. As my cancer is incurable, I'm now thinking it would be best to stop treatment, rather than waste what time I have left. If the form of cancer I have is so agressive it can only be controlled by weekly chemo, then for me the misery far outweighs the benefits of gaining a few extra months. 

I have a meeting with my consultant next week so will discuss this with them but wondered if anyone could recommend any good resources about care that can be offered to deal with pain and other symptoms once treatment stops. I hadn't considered this possibilty in any depth as it appeared the treatment was going well and I'd hoped that might lead to better news than I've received. I'm trying to note down good questions to ask but I'm a bit lost with it so any advice or resources you could point me to would be a great help.