MONTHS TO LIVE

My Ex husband had a kidney removed two years ago. Since then the cancer has spread to his lungs, bowel bones and brain. He has been told he only has months to live. He started the last available medication they can offer two weeks ago. He has now started to lose control of his bladder. He has already lost over 12 stone and he barley eats and sleeps most of the day. 

I am worried that this is the end and that maybe it is only weeks ralther than months he had left. 

He wanted to get his funeral arrangments sorted , but now he doesnt want to do anything. I feel so helpless that I cannot help him. 

Does this sound like the end? I feel like his body is shutting down 

 

  • Hello and thank you for contacting us.

    I am so sorry to hear about your ex husband. It is so difficult to watch someone deteriorate. It is hard to say whether this is the end as we aren't part of the team caring for him but he does sound very poorly now.

    I wonder if your ex husband has a community palliative care or Macmillan team. They usually help provide support and care at this time when someone is ill and can support family and friends too. Sometimes they are able to visit and assess how people are, provide symptom management support, and help try and improve quality of life. They might be able talk through with you how they feel he is doing, if your ex- husband is happy for his care to be discussed.

    I've provided a link here to information on our website that maybe useful to you, but I appreciate that it maybe upsetting to read.

    Take care, and if you want to talk anything through you may find it helpful speak with one of the nurses on our helpline.  The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

    Sarah.