Hi Maria

My wife is about to go onto Tamoxifen in a few weeks after her radiotherapy, and I'm wondering what made you stop taking it if you really don't mind me asking?

That aside, you really, really need to speak to your GP or cancer team about those suicidal thoughts. I know nothing about the medication, so it could be that or it could be proper clinical depression. Try to nip that in the bud because it gets more difficult the longer you leave it. The latter doesn't get better on its own. Having seen everything you ladies have gone through first hand, it's not beyond the realm of possibility you are suffering from PTSD or depression. No one comes out of this the same mentally. Hell, i wasn't even the person going through the treatment, and I've changed. Not for the better either. So I can only guess what you're enduring.

Hi thanks for your reply.

since I've been on it I just don't feel myself anymore.

im on sertraline for my pms which I've always suffered with.

I just don't enjoy anything anymore and feel numb. I just feel it in my gut that these are not right for me. I've had some therapy as I've had a terrible couple of years with other things aswell as my cancer.

but the last couple of months I just can't seem to get myself right and I'm sure it's these. 
sorry if I'm not much help, but I think everyone has such different experiences with these tablets.

has your wife had radiotherapy/chemo yet? 

I'm sorry about the difficulties you've been having with Tamoxifen Maria.

Our nurses will get back to you with more information and guidance next week but if you haven't done so already, do make sure you let your doctor or cancer team know that you have stopped taking your medication as they will be able to help you with this and the suicidal thoughts that have been popping in to your mind lately.  

Suicidal thoughts can be very scary but the mental health charity Mind have some very useful tips and advice on what you can do to help yourself when these appear. The Samaritans are also available on 116 123 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would prefer to talk to someone. They will support you and may be able to help you make sense of what you're feeling, so do get in touch with them if these thoughts continue to appear and/or become a bit too much to cope with.

I know this must be quite a challenging time for you at the moment Maria but you are not alone and will find a way through this.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Don't apologise for giving information. You've nothing to be sorry for. You are the same age as my wife (going by the 1971 part), so I can also relate to that part.

You do sound depressed. Not in a "I just can't be bothered today" sort of way, but properly depressed. Please don't let those feelings drag on because you would be taking a helluva chance just assuming it was down to the medication. There are people out there that will want to help you.

Never underplay what you have went through for the last while. It's life changing in the extreme. Before all this happened to us, I was the usual ignorant person, thinking lump in breast, lump removed and all will be rosy. Now i know that not to be true, I have nothing but total respect for anyone going through this treatment.

Maybe speaking to your team there might be a different medication option for you. One that will agree with you more. But i do know there comes times when people do say "enough is enough", and just want to feel normal. Even if it's just to get their head around the whole thing before continuing on.

My wife has had her op, and finished her chemo, and she's just had treatment 2 of 29 planned radiotherapy treatments. Thank you for asking.

In the meantime, if you need to speak to someone, anyone, I'm here to listen to you. No rant too small or too large.

Hello there

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through at the moment and appreciate it must be a really difficult time for you.  I am hoping you are having a better day today, and are planning or have got in touch with someone to speak about how low you have been feeling.

As other people have also pointed out to you, it is really important that you talk through these negative thoughts and feelings with your doctor so they support and help you through this time, so do call someone today if you haven't already.

Many people struggle with tamoxifen, and again you need to let your specialist team know that you have stopped taking it and why so they can work through this with you to.

Try and speak to either your GP or specialist team today and see what they have to say, failing that call NHS 111 so they can arrange for someone to assess you.

As Steph said you aren't alone in this and there are people who will want to help you in anyway they can through this time and out the other side, so hang in there.

Take care

Naomi