Hello and thanks for your post,

I can imagine that this thought must be preying on your mind a lot and I don't know how best to answer you. Cancer is unpredictable and I can't say that it is always a death sentence with a timer. I can understand the need to have someone with you as being ill can be very lonely. 

I am not sure whether you have been able to share how you feel with other family members or friends as this can be so difficult dealing with this on your own.

Have you shared how you are feeling with your team and the hospital and have they been able to offer you any support. They may be able to offer you some help within the hospital setting.

The charity Macmillan offer free Bupa counselling sessions which you may find helpful to help process some of your thoughts.  Have a look at their details  here

I am not sure where you are living in the country but if you are near a Maggie's centre they also offer wonderful support both on line and in person. Have a look at their details here

I am not sure whether you have been in touch with SarcomaUK as you might find it helpful to visit their website here

They have various support groups and sometimes it can help to talk to others in a similar situation.

I am also not sure whether your GP has been involved in your care but it may be helpful to have a conversation with them about how you are coping with this all.

I do so hope you manage to get some help and support. We are at the end of the phone if you would like to talk things through with one of the nurses on the helpline. Our number is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and we are here from Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm.

Take Care,

Catherine