Can children suffer PTSD years after a parent has had cancer

Hi.... I'm new to this forum, I'm reaching out to see if others have had any problems with their children and anxiety years after parental cancer. 
long story short... I had breast cancer 6 years ago, I was 38, my children were 9 and 4 at the time. I was divorced and living just with my kids. (They do see their father) I underwent 6 rounds of chemo, radical mastectomy, 3 weeks radiotherapy, bilateral salpingo oophorectomy (felopian tubes and ovaries removed). It was a year of hell, as you will all be aware who are on this forum. My eldest who was 9-10 over that year seemed to grow up so quickly, he took on almost a father roll with his little brother. (Forgot to mention that their grandad had died almost exactly a year before my diagnosis). My eldest son is now 15 and is suffering with anxiety, which is really bad at the moment. He's anxious about everything and anything and is in a real state. He has had little anxiety episodes on and off over the years, but I have always been able to reassure him. The last 8 weeks he's been so anxious, he doesn't know why, he's worrying about everything, death, dying, loss, he's worrying about his other grandad getting older, he's worried about his little brother starting senior school. He says he doesn't know who he is anymore, says he's head full and he can't concentrate. 
Could this be PTSD? Has anyone else experienced this with their children? 
It's breaking my heart seeing him like this. I've always been open and honest, as much as I think you should be with children about cancer. 
One worried mum

  • Hi Juniper_77,

    I'd recommend taking your son to your GP so he can be put in the CAMHS waiting list or going private if you can afford it! Children have a fantastic ability to suppress trauma then once things settle you start to see that trauma coming to the surface.

    Early intervention is key here and can provent him from carrying these issues into adulthood. If you and your Ex are on good terms it might be worth talking to him as a united front and explaining he is not alone with these feelings of anxiety and he will not feel this way forever.

    There are also numerous charities that work with kids struggling with their mental health so it would probably be worth looking into what's available in your area. Another thing that might help is contacting his school so they can make sure staff are taking a more therapeutic approach with him. The school may even have trained counsellors on staff that can help.

    Hope this helps,

    LFrasier98

  • Hello and thank you for posting,

    I'm sorry you are having problems with your son. It must have been so difficult for you all.

    I'm afraid I don't whether this is PTSD, but I do think you should flag your concerns with others who may be able to help more than us. Speaking to his GP and the welfare support at his school should start the process on what can be done to support your son through these periods.

    I have placed here some information on anxiety and children, and this is about some of the other NHS services available.

    This link discusses what support is available in schools.

    I see you have had some good advice from LFrasier98, it may be that other forum users come forward with their own experiences and advice too.,

    Take care Juniper, and hopefully things will improve soon. If you want to talk any of this through you may find it helpful to chat with one of the nurses on our helpline.  The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

    Sarah.

  • Thank you Sarah for your kind helpful reply x

  • Hi. Thank you for your great words of advice. He say a gp about 6 weeks ago, he gave him some websites to look through and referred him to a place near us which deals with adolescents mentally health, the waiting list is 12 weeks. His mood was getting lower so I have starting him seeing a private counsellor who he seems to have clicked with. School haven't been very helpful at all, I'm very disappointed in their approach to this. Max has a way of masking how he's feeling when with his mates, so the head of year just said that "he seems fine when his with his friends!" I said well he will do won't he! he's 15 and doesn't want his mates to know what's going on with him. You'd think these teachers would have some training or insight with matter of adolescent and mental health. I was thinking about taking him back to the drs to see if it's worth him seeing CAMHS as well. I just want this sorting before he gets to adulthood as I want him to lead the happy life he was. I know teenagers can be moody etc, but this is far beyond that so that's what makes me think school are not interested. 
    thank you for your great advise and I will look further into things. I just wonder if this is normal so many years later? I wonder if hormones and adolescence had brought the trauma of it all to a head.