Hello and thank you for posting. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Patients with cancer pain are often put onto opiates as they are the best medications for this symptom, even if the person has had a previous history of addiction. There are other families of drugs that can be used at the same time, like nerve pain killers, but it depends if they are considered to be needed. It is also about how that person is managed on the medications and ensuring there is an open flow of communication so that they feel they can feed back to their hospital team about how they are getting on.

For some people, pain control and other symptoms are difficult no matter what the situation is, and often expert help is needed to get the balance of what is right for each individual to be symptom free. It can be complex, take time and may need review and change, but all of that is expected and can happen.

It is difficult for me to comment too specifically on your partners situation as I am not part of his team, but I wonder if they know what has happened and is currently happening. Is there a specialist nurse (CNS) assigned to him who you can talk to. Has he told them of his previous problem and how these medications are now making him feel. I don't know who is currently managing your partner's pain control, but there are cancer pain specialist teams sometimes called Macmillan, symptom management or palliative care teams, who could review him and look at his medications.

I'm unsure of where he is at in his treatment, or the type of cancer pain he has (as these things also determine the sort of medications that can be used) , but a pain specialist team would be able to look at this with him. If you or he are able to talk to someone in his hospital team, they may be able to look at referring him or at least getting advice from one of these specialist pain teams if they haven't already.

When you are diagnosed with cancer it can affect every aspect of your life, and certainly your mood and coping mechanisms. This may also be having an affect on your partner, I've placed here a link which may be useful.

It's also important that in amongst all of this, loved ones look after themselves too, particularly for you when your child is involved. Here is another link which you may be helpful

Take care, and I hope this situation gets better for you all soon. If you want to talk any of this out please do give the nurses on our helpline a call, the number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040, 9am till 5pm, Monday to Friday.

Sarah.