Hello Francesca, and thank you for posting .

I am so very sorry to hear you are going through this with your dad, it must be incredibly difficult. It is so hard seeing those we love deteriorate, and the idea of them being in any sort of discomfort is also so upsetting. But balancing everyday life and work and its own stresses on top of this in your personal life must feel too overwhelming. I hope I am able to help a bit.

Many people stay at home in similar circumstances as your dad, but usually with the support of community teams. I realise your dad isn't keen on the idea of anyone else coming in, but now he is feeling a bit more poorly, perhaps he might reconsider. Palliative care (or Macmillan teams) work alongside GPs and district nurses to help those who want to remain in their own environment.  They are experts in symptom control and emotional support and can help sort things out so that people feel more supported without too much crowding. The emotional support they provide is very much there for you too so I think this could be helpful.

I wonder if his GP knows about the deterioration, if so they could refer on to one of these teams and I think it would help you both enormously. If you don't think they know maybe give them a ring.

You have asked how bad will he become and whether this will be quick or take weeks. Others here on the forum may come forward with their own experiences of loved ones when they became poorly, but the answers are quite individual to the person. He is likely to become weaker and slower and as you say sleep more, less able to do things for himself, but the time frame is different in everyone. Having him reviewed by a palliative care team will help gauge what is happening for your dad so that you feel clearer on some of these things. This in turn may help you in dealing with all of this.

Here I've posted the section on our website about the teams who can support your dad, and therefore you at home.

And here I've posted a link to the section on our website that will be upsetting to read, but might have answers to some other questions you have.

This is a very difficult time for you Francesca, and I wonder if you have any other support you can draw on to help you right now. Does your workplace know for example what is happening so at least you have someone to share this with.

If there is anything you want to talk through in confidence please ring our nurse helpline the number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040, and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday. Sometimes talking some of this out really helps.

Take care,

Sarah.

Hello Francesca, and thank you for posting .

I am so very sorry to hear you are going through this with your dad, it must be incredibly difficult. It is so hard seeing those we love deteriorate, and the idea of them being in any sort of discomfort is also so upsetting. But balancing everyday life and work and its own stresses on top of this in your personal life must feel too overwhelming. I hope I am able to help a bit.

Many people stay at home in similar circumstances as your dad, but usually with the support of community teams. I realise your dad isn't keen on the idea of anyone else coming in, but now he is feeling a bit more poorly, perhaps he might reconsider. Palliative care (or Macmillan teams) work alongside GPs and district nurses to help those who want to remain in their own environment.  They are experts in symptom control and emotional support and can help sort things out so that people feel more supported without too much crowding. The emotional support they provide is very much there for you too so I think this could be helpful.

I wonder if his GP knows about the deterioration, if so they could refer on to one of these teams and I think it would help you both enormously. If you don't think they know maybe give them a ring.

You have asked how bad will he become and whether this will be quick or take weeks. Others here on the forum may come forward with their own experiences of loved ones when they became poorly, but the answers are quite individual to the person. He is likely to become weaker and slower and as you say sleep more, less able to do things for himself, but the time frame is different in everyone. Having him reviewed by a palliative care team will help gauge what is happening for your dad so that you feel clearer on some of these things. This in turn may help you in dealing with all of this.

Here I've posted the section on our website about the teams who can support your dad, and therefore you at home.

And here I've posted a link to the section on our website that will be upsetting to read, but might have answers to some other questions you have.

This is a very difficult time for you Francesca, and I wonder if you have any other support you can draw on to help you right now. Does your workplace know for example what is happening so at least you have someone to share this with.

If there is anything you want to talk through in confidence please ring our nurse helpline the number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040, and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday. Sometimes talking some of this out really helps.

Take care,

Sarah.