Hello Leiq, and thank you for posting. 

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your dad to pancreatic cancer, anniversary's always make us think more about what happened and what might of been. And of course these thoughts matter and need to be addressed. Hopefully here I can reassure you a bit.

Medicines like morphine and oxycodone (oxycontin is the tablet version) are used in syringe drivers when people have become too poorly to be able to swallow tablets and liquids and need a constant level of pain control. They are monitored very closely by nurses and doctors and adjusted according to the patient's need. The amount of drug in the driver is appropriate to what the patient has been needing and sometimes doses have to be reviewed every 24 hours to keep up with the changing picture and make sure someone is comfortable. 

When your dad was deteriorating from his cancer, the nurses will have given the amount needed to control the symptoms he was getting, whether that was signs of pain or general discomfort or agitation which can come across in different ways. Sometimes patients can look upset, tensed up or just generally not very settled in themselves. The team will read these signs and in turn increase the medication to help the patient cope with the affects of the cancer on the body. When someone has terminal cancer it is not unusual for them to become a lot more sleepy, as the body becomes more overwhelmed with the disease. The medicines needed to keep them comfortable through this phase can also cause some sleepiness as a side affect.This all means the patients spend less time awake, but are hopefully more settled, as they deteriorate further.

I hope that this has made things a bit clearer for you Leiq. I don't know who looked after your dad when he was very sick, but I wonder if you are able to speak to the doctor or nurse if you still have concerns. If he was looked after by a Macmillan, palliative care or hospice team it might help to give them a call. It is not unusual for those teams to do a post bereavement meeting to talk things through and go through questions. Or the GP might also be able to help too.

Losing someone we love is devastating and the grief and bereavement process can be long and hard. Sometimes people need a bit of help with it and this link talks through coping with these feelings. 

Take care, and if you need to talk things through with one of the nurses on our helpline.  The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

Sarah.