Hello and thank you for posting.

I am so sorry that you have had this experience whilst trying to attend your smear. Although a majority of people find they can tolerate the procedure, it can still be uncomfortable, and in some, even painful.

I have posted here a link to a page from the Jo's Trust website. As a cervical cancer charity they have lots of information about smears including this on how to help them be less painful.

Although you feel that muscle relaxants might not help, if we are feeling tense or stressed our muscles will naturally tighten, so they may well be helpful. I think also letting your nurse know that sex is always painful too will help them think about how they can make this easier for you. Sometimes lying in a different position or the use of some cream into the vagina can help. 

On our forum, Cancer Chat, other people may come forward with what has previously helped them cope in similar situations.

Do take care, and I hope this gets sorted for you at your next appointment. 

Sarah.