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Is this the end? How to know someone is dying?

Amyk556
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My Grandad has metastatic advanced prostate cancer and his hormone treatment has stopped working after only 3 mths. His PSA is over 700 and we are waiting for a clinic appointment with oncology to see if there is a treatment available for him.. his appointment is early January but the past few weeks he is deteriorating every day, he has no appetite and can barely drink one Ensure shake per day. He can take fluids. He has a lot of excess saliva and mucus and is easily made feel nauseous. He is weak as a kitten and is now completely bedridden. We have pleaded with him to allow us to call an ambulance so he can get his treatment sooner but he isn't having any of it as he hates hospital so much. We are completely at a loss its so distressing.. is there any coming back from this? He is skin and bone. And it is also beginning to him to pee which will be a real cause for concern soon..

  • I'm very sorry to hear about your grandad Amy. It must be very tough for you all at the moment.

    I just wanted to let you know that our cancer nurses will be back from their Christmas break tomorrow and will get back to you as soon as they can but if you're seeking a quicker response it may be best to give them a call on 0808 800 4040. Their phone lines will be open between 9a.m - 5p.m and they'll do all they can to help.

    If you have any contact numbers for your grandad's GP (out of hours) and/or cancer team you could try getting in touch with them to get their thoughts and advice as well.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hello and thank you for your post.

    I am very sorry to hear about your grandad. This must be a difficult time for you all.

    It is difficult for me to really understand what is happening however there could be a couple of reasons for his deterioration, this could be that he has picked up an infection and/or his cancer is progressing.  I am sorry to talk so bluntly. I do think that if there is a change in his condition that his GP and/or any community team involved in his care should be told and go to see him at home to advise and to assess him. He may not be well enough to have any treatment, but hopefully the doctor can advise, and help arrange any care that may be needed for him. 

    I also want to say that if any family member is worried about what is happening, that they can also contact the out of hours GP service, or the NHS any time day or night on their NHS freephone 111 number.  

    I hope this has been of some help. Please get back to us if you need any more information or support.  You may find it helpful to talk things through with one of the nurses on our helpline.  The number to call is Freephone 0808 800 4040 and the lines are open from 9am till 5pm Monday to Friday.

    Take care,

    Vanda

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