Hello Michelle,

Thank you very much  for your kind message and for thinking of me. It is breast cancer.

I have - oddly - been immediately scheduled for a meeting tomorrow for surgery. How fast is that? Felt a bit down last night so did not post - it is not really the news one shouts about, even on a cancer forum. I had to change plans at work to get there. I should feel, and am, grateful for the speed this is moving at but as it is new year, and the last few have not been the best years of my life, am feeling a bit down. Need to do some yoga and hold onto the TV and chairs again to feel better!

Anyway, as someone kindly wrote on Tuesday - hold on to one day at a time and do not pre-judge and be positive!

All the best to you and anyone else reading this. Off to do some yoga!

Best wishes and thank you

Lisa xx

I'm so sorry to hear this. I think your positive attitude is amazing!

Thinking of you and praying for you. 
 

M x x

Hello Minnie, who are your favourite Disney characters?

I had a good experience in the meeting yesterday. A brilliant open doctor and very warm and lovely nurse.

It is only in one breast (I can't mention the C word yet!) and they can't operate until the breast settles down after the needle biopsy. The consultant said it is so bruised and lumpy (after 12 days) it will need another month to calm down. She said to use more Arnica so I went to Boots and invested in several tubes of it and smothered my body in it (that is an exaggeration, but you know what I mean..) Some good news is I slept the best I have in around 30 nights so feel a bit better just because of that. Consultant said I will get an infection if they operate on it as it is. They are removing a chunk of the breast - until they remove some lymph nodes and check them - they think it is early stage cancer and the 'prognosis' is good. I am still coping with words like 'prognosis', and 'you have cancer'. I think life is going to be like this. I have not told anyone other than on this forum as I don't think I can cope with my own thoughts at the moment, so coping with the attitudes of others will be hard and too much. Maybe when I do discuss it, the attitudes help me to reduce the drama in my head, and to cope with the diagnosis, but I have a few friends who will tell me I am making a fuss if I tell them (I think they are just like that, and will start listing their friends who are far worse etc etc - it is odd how that just doesn't help as we are all individuals and entitled to our health and opinions and dealing with stuff ourselves). I read on this website that cancer is one day amazing, and you feel grateful you have today etc etc, and another day you will full of remorse.

I am going back to the veggie diet I used to have and then quit when I got married. I feel like I have compromised too much in my past and am at the 'beating self up stage' today. Itt is probably a phase. I don't drink (occasional glass of wine) and have a good diet but clearly something has kicked this off. I  have high cholesterol which is hereditary but am looking into that and other ways to reduce it.

Always thought I'd have heart or dementia problems as those are the things in our family and other auto-immune problems, but really wish I'd been so much more neurotic (! I am laughing) about 'what is right for me' ie sticking to the veggie diet... 

Laughing is very important - there's today's lesson none of us knew.... More Pluto and Disney films for me. 

They said to me yesterday the advances in breast cancer over the past 5 years are huge. Thank you Cancer Research and all the people who work on helping all of us and future people. And to the very helpful comments so far which have meant a lot to me.

If I had not gone into this BRAID trial I would not have had this diagnosis so need to look forward and say huge thanks. The doc and nurse yesterday were extraordinary - so nice, so calm, objective and smiling and kind. I pray for you that you have such a fantastic team and help.

Can't quite believe yet any of this but as someone said on here - why not you, when it's one in two at the moment getting cancer.

Feet on the ground. Make each day count.

Off to do some yoga stretches hanging onto the telly (Disney film not on the TV as that will stop me doing the yoga..)

Best wishes Minnie,

xxx

Hi Lisa,

I am so sorry to hear that you've had a positive diagnosis. This is hard to accept, even though you've probably been expecting it. I remember walking around in a dwam after I was told and, I was almost in denial for a few weeks. 'Why me?' was certainly one of my questions, but then there are so many of us in this boat. As you rightly said, 'with one person in 2 affected', why not me? Do you know what type of breast cancer it is?

It is good news that it seems to be at an early stage. Things do move fast now, but at least you are moving towards getting rid of it. It is great that you have a good team, who seem to have explained everything to you. This makes all the difference to your recovery. I was not so fortunate first time around, but the team that I had the second time were just amazing. 

We all dread telling family and friends this news. I have found that putting a positive slant on it all when you tell them makes a big difference. If you are all doom and gloom, then so are they. It may not feel like it at the moment, but you were so fortunate to be picked up as a result of the BRAID trial. The earlier you detect this disease the better the outcome usually is. 

There are a lot of new medical terms to get to grips with. You will soon become conversant with them. If you don't understand anything, don't hesitate to ask your care team. I have found my breast care nurse to be a real treasure.  You will find it helpful to write down any questions you think of, as they come to mind and to bring them to your appointments. New questions keep popping up between visits and it is all too easy to forget something important at the time of your consultation. Do you know that you can also get Arnica tablets? I found it easier to take them, instead of smothering myself in cream. They also seemed more effective, as they were working from the inside out, instead of lying on the skin. I used the 6C ones.

Have you been given some leaflets about breast cancer? These are quite helpful at explaining what comes next. You will have a trying few months ahead of you, but you sound like a strong person and I'm sure that you'll cope. After that, hopefully all of this will just be a memory!

I hope that ou have a better New Year than the one about to leave us and I wish you Peace, Joy and Contentment once this is all behind you.

I am always here, if you have any questions.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Positive thoughts hope all goes well today x

Sounds like you had a good meeting. Sorry I didn't reply. I switched off for a bit to be with my family

Arnica tablets are very good. I took them after having all 4 of my children and they helped with bruising and swelling. 
 

I'm trying to remain positive but I'm preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. 3 of my children had a very rare form of epilepsy as babies and should not be developmentally normal but they are. All neurologists and doctors we've seen have never seen 1 child like this, let alone 3. So I believe that whatever the diagnosis, we can have a good outcome if it's in God's plan. 
 

As a result of their illness, we were also included in the 100,000 Genomes Project so I've had my genetics sequenced and that can be easily accessed for further analysis if necessary. 
 

I hope for a good outcome for you and yes, Disney movies help but maybe not Pixar. They're tear jerkers

Hello Jolamine,

Thank you for your time and for writing again. It helps to be in touch with experienced and kind people like you who have contributed so much to helping others,  and been through it. I can appreciate the difficulty you must have coped with and the shock, and the mindset needed. You said you did not have a good experience and not a good team the first time. I am so sorry. That sounds very hard and I am sure you will not forget that traumatic experience. It is good the team were so good the second time - I do curl up inside writing that, 'second time'.

This is a horrible thing. I suppose we all come to deal with it in our own way. And there is the worry that my situation is less severe than so many people writing on here, and then there is the guilt attached to that! I just need to shut up for a while and process all this I think.

It is easy to write and sound strong but I struggled to sleep again last night. Weirdly, I was still hoping, despite having the result confirmed last Weds 28th Dec  and having seen a consultant on Friday 30th Dec, that they have made a mistake. Even if this is a good outcome and quickly dealt with - I am still in shock. I helped to nurse both my father in law and mother in law through it, and helped a lot of friends who were coping with close relatives through it, and lost so many friends to it - as we all have  - that I can't believe it has come knocking at my door. 

It does feel surreal. I think my whole mind and heart have got to catch up with the strong bit in me! It drags the other bits along behind!

And other people seem to cope so well. One friend is running marathons and on the rainbow diet for the past five years since her very drastic surgery but she is very outgoing and tends to deal with most things in a very practical way. People make it look effortless.

Arnica tablets are a great idea, thank you. 

I wish you a very happy new year and one full of health and happiness.

Thank you so much for all the help you give to so many of us. This forum has helped me.

Best wishes

Lisa xx

Hi Lisa,

The way you are feeling is perfectly normal. You sound like a strong person. I am too, but I totally lost that strength for the first few months. No matter how positive a face people wear on the outside, we all have 'wobbly' times with fears of recurrence, progression, etc.

Please don't worry that your condition is less severe than many. This is no need for guilt. We all feel terrified at this stage.  Be thankful that it is in the early stages and treatable. You can and will beat this and you will come out a stronger person for doing so.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hello Jolamine, If it wasn't for the lumps and bruising and reality of that biopsy, I would be in complete denial but I think that is probably normal too. It's so odd that we can return home, sit in a chair and everything feels like it did last month, or two weeks ago, but everything changed. And that is where th terror and fear lays for me.

 Your words brought tears to my eyes. We had to write on a card in church today - at least two things we are grateful for around us, and two things in the wider world, and heat and light and health, and food, and shelter, friends, support, kindness,  are top of mine. It's a lot more than two. I still feel healthy - how ironic is that. 

Thank you very much 

Will take a break and thank you for all your kind help

Lisa

Hello Michelle, You've been through such a journey with your children and their diagnoses. I am praying for you that the outcome this week is good and much better than you think it may be. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I wish the best for you. I am praying for you. Will be in touch. Lisa