Hi all, 

I'm absolutely devastated. I regularly check my breasts as I've always been very cautious about lumps and bumps with family history. 

Yesterday morning I found a lump on my right breast and the Dr saw me immediately and agreed that there was a lump and he has no referred me to the breast clinic. He said that there's a longer than usual wait to Christmas and New Year but I am absolutely devastated. 

He did note that the lump is round and fairly small and that the breast clinics are fantastic. 

My children had to come to the appointment with me as we are trying to reduce contacts so I had to really hold it together when I really just wanted to break down. 

My daughter is 5, 6 in February, and my little boy is nearly 6 months old and we've been to hell and back trying to conceive them so this has thrown me into a very bad place. 

For the last 4 weeks I've been experiencing sharp pains in my breast from the centre which the Dr initially diagnosed as costochondritis which is an inflammation of the sternum and when she checked my sternum it was clearly inflamed. The bloods showed inflammation however repeat bloods have come back normal. 

I've experienced breast pain in both breasts the last few weeks too however I've put this down to hormones as I didn't breast feed but my menstrual cycle has returned back. 

Since my appointment yesterday where the Dr also felt the lump, I feel like my breast is very tender and uncomfortable. I'm not sure if this was down the the examination but it's causing me some distress.

I'm completely panicking about being diagnosed with cancer. I don't want my children to have a poorly mum and I am absolutely petrified. I've struggled emotionally since having my little boy and I'm sure that having him during a pandemic has added to the stress. 

I've managed to book a private appointment for next Wednesday but I have literally been sick with worry. 

Any advice on how to get through this week especially as I don't want to be emotional during the festive period?

X