Hi Steph, 

im trying to contact you to see how you are during  this awful time.....sorry I lost our chat somehow and it's taken me ages to find it again ( I blame chemo brain) I've even ended up sending myself a message thinking it was going to you! 
I just want to see how you are doing, how you are getting on with your treatment and so on.....I really hope you are safe during this time and your family along with you....

please let me know you are safe if you find the time.....

very best wishes to you and your family 

Andrea xxxx

Well hello lovely lady,

A very happy Easter to you and your's  and what a glorious one it has been.

Fab to hear from you.  Yes thank you, we are all good in sunny Somerset! Even in these very scary times.   Working from home for the foreseeable future which is lovely but I am so easily distracted and unfortunately not by the house work :silly:  Alan and Gabs are both home with me so lots of DIY getting done and sitting in the garden having a bevy or 2. 

Alot has happened since we last spoke, they cancelled my chemo and I had surgery last week. Recovering well and now just waiting for results. Radiotherapy to start in 4 weeks and I am now taking tamoxifen daily so loving the hot flushes lol.  If I do need more chemo it will be at a later date. I was so relieved they stopped it but now im a little apprehensive that I have not had enough!!!!!  But hey ho!!  At least I can drink Gin!!! 

How is your treatment going? Have you had a change of plan?. Are you isolating on your own? If so must be so tough not seeing your kids. Leanne my eldest only lives round the corner but works for the NHS so she is a no no for me. Breaks my heart but I'm so proud of her.  Missing all the grandkids terribly but I am getting through most of their easter eggs lol  they wont recognize me when we eventually go back to the office !!!!!

Apologies for the break in contact , I didn't want you to remember 2020 for cancer, Corona and a stalker !!!!! Lol 

Sending lots of socially distancing hugs.

Stef xxxxx

Hi Stef, 

good to hear from you.....Happy Easter to you as well, hope you enjoyed all the wonderful weather.

so pleased to hear you have had your surgery and are now recovering, that's fantastic news.....I am still having chemo, my type of cancer doesn't respond to the tablets your now taking so I just have to keep going....I have two more to go.....not looking forward to it but I guess, who does!
following that it will be surgery but waiting for the genetic results before I'll know what type of surgery they'll recommend....also at my hospital they are not operating at all right now so will have to wait and see....

I admire that you always sound so cheerful, I have struggled with everything that's going on at the moment.....

my daughter is with me since lockdown, she managed to get here before London closed, it's really lovely to have her here.....I chat with my son regularly too....so pleased you have your family with you apart from Leanne of course, I'll be clapping for her tomorrow xxxxx

stay safe....keep up that positive attitude 

love & hugs 

Andrea x

Hello Andrea. 

I'm so glad you have your daughter with you and you are not on your own. It is a struggle!!! Dont underestimate how brave we both are! 

I've had a mixed week, my results came back all good ( I know I should be chuffed) but more chemo is advised! I'm devastated and cried, will start in a week or two.  I have yet to find out how many more sessions, will find out tuesday.  So radiotherapy on hold for now. 

My wonderful mother inlaw died of a brain tumour and I am unable to attend the funeral  

I dont like the thought of you struggling!! I'm always here and I can be as chipper as you need me to be xxx

Lots of hugs xxx

Hi Stef,

im sorry they have advised more chemo, that must have been really difficult, to hear.....it really is such a roller coaster isn't it......I know we are both strong and will get through this but I also know it is hard. 
sorry as well to hear about you losing your mother in law.....my sincere condolences to you and your family.....

this time really sucks and that about sums it up!

i appreciate you being chipper but want you to know you don't have to be on my account, if you ever have a bad day you can tell me about that as well.....

I am waiting to hear the genetic results, I'll need to pop to my flat this week to see if they have arrived in the post, then I'll know if I have the gene or not (praying not) I can't bear the thought of telling my family it might be genetic......

on a lighter note, isn't the weather glorious! I hope you are able to get outside and enjoy it? 
i went for a drive today just to get out and see the blossom.....

let me know how you get on Tuesday.

in the meantime take good care

love & hugs

Andrea 

Hi Andrea

Hope you are well. 

I've got everything crossed for good results for you. I cant begin to imagine having to share that news with the people you love most!  Funny how the small things matter, I could tell by your message how much you enjoyed your drive out to see the blossom

My appointment today could of gone better, looks like my surgeon last week was acting on a need to know basis! My removed tissue didnt have clear margins! And With the size of my boobs they had plenty to play with so I'm surprised with that result. Apparently a re-excision is not priority on the surgery list due to covid so it will be extra radiotherapy. A boost they call it. When I asked about the chance of reoccurance I wasnt left convinced the odds wont be increased.   3 x more chemo sessions which was no surprise and they are moving me to docetaxel which is less sicky and I was relieved! But they are not offering the cold cap due to the extra time it takes, well the flood gates opened! I have so far tolerated 15 painful hours of the bloody thing, but it's worked!!!!  I hated it!!! But it worked, I can look in the mirror and not be reminded daily I have cancer, I was planning my wedding and looking at long curly hairstyles with a flower in.

I am so angry that a chinese man eating a bat the other side of the world could ruin my special day, but worse, how selfish and ashamed I feel by thinking that way when so many have lost their lives!!  

Needless to say not much work done today!!! 

Thank you for your kind wishes to my family. Al has had a rough few months, he has switched his focus to building a new shed in the garden and Ive discovered it has underfloor heating and a toilet, haha  maybe I'm not that easy to live with and hes moving out!!! Or I am  

Thank you for letting me vent! Il bounce back I'm sure.  

Let me know how you get on with your results. 

Lots of hugs

Stef xxxx

Dear Stef, 

that is very frustrating news and I can only imagine what you are feeling right now,  I'm sorry you have to have more chemo and more radiotherapy.....also that they are not offering the cold cap.....sometimes it's hard to keep the chin up in times like these....

I had a visit to the acute oncology unit this week for some tests as I've been feeling really week and breathless, they were really thorough, sent me for X-ray , CT scan and ECG along with blood tests and ended up having two units of blood which has given me a boost......I have chemo today at 2pm so feeling more positive I can cope with it now I'm feeling stronger...

still no news from the genetic lab so I'm trying to speed them up a bit, I have a telephone conversation to discuss surgery on the 13th May......

when is your wedding planned for? I'm so happy for you ️
I have been single since my husband died in 2009, I never considered anyone else but after this I'm really tempted, it would be lovely to be loved again and to love someone else...... 

I am convinced you will look amazing on your wedding day with or without hair and it will be the most wonderful day x

the shed sounds fab at the end of your garden, all mod cons, perhaps it's for the children so you and Al can have the house to yourselves xxxxx

look forward to hearing from you, you are an amazing person, I can tell that from our short correspondence, keep smiling, cry when you need to and take it a day at a time....sending love and praying for you xxxx

Andrea x

Hi Andrea

How are you after chemo? Coping better with the side effects I hope. I'm so sorry you suffered badly after your last cocktail.  I am so glad they were so thorough though. it does put your mind at rest when they do all those checks and they dont find anything sinister.  Were you anemic?   Any news from the lab?  I hope you have, as it must be hard being in limbo!!!

My wedding was booked for 4th july this year but we have now moved it to 5th june next year, hopefully all the Covid drama will be over by then. We are waiting for easyjet to cancel our flights for the hen and stag do and the honeymoon. I'm actually a little relieved now there is a good chance il lose my hair. 

I spent many happy years on my own (even having been married twice they werent for very long) but I dont know how I would of got through all this without Al. Its definitely 3rd time lucky. And hes a keeper.

I start docetaxel on thursday. Hoping this one isn't as sicky as the last. It's not supposed to be!  I did have a long chat with my Onc who assured me everything is looking good which definitely cheered me up a bit. 

Do you return to Greece at all? Do you holiday there?  I've never been but would love too.  You sound lovely also and very kind.. I do enjoy our correspondence. Xx

I hope you are resting and taking it easy. Sending hugs and best wishes 

Stef x

Hi Steph, so sorry for the delay in replying....I honestly don't know where the time goes !

how are you? You must have started the new chemo drug by now, how are you getting on with it? Have you been ok regarding side effects?

i have my final chemo Friday 15th May, in two days time.....I am also expecting a call today from the surgeon to discuss surgery....the good news is I do not have the breast cancer gene so will not require a double mastectomy, more importantly my daughter, nieces and sisters won't either which is a huge relief .....

im so pleased that you have Al, it's lovely to click with someone and have the comfort of knowing you have support and love from that special person, I hope when the time come you send me a picture of the happy day ️
in answer to your question, yes I do go to Greece every year, usually once and sometimes more, I still have a little holiday home there which is lovely and I also have many friends who I like to stay in touch with....you really must go to Greece sometime if you get the chance, it's a beautiful country and the Greek people are very friendly....

At some point we should continue this conversation privately, I'd like to stay in touch if you would?

in the meantime, I hope your continued treatment is going well, that you are not suffering too much with the side effects and that you are keeping well emotionally etc....

sending hugs and love your way

Andrea xx
 

Good morning Andrea

That's fantastic news about your results. I am so relieved and happy  for you. It is amazing to get good news on this roller coaster we are on. 

I am very envious that you have last chemo friday, have to say I have been a cranky old *** this week lol  had horrendous neuropathy since monday but it has started to ease. They werent joking when they said you get hit by the docetaxel truck!!!! It can leave permanent damage so will need to speak to the Onc about it. 

I can imagine how beautiful Greece is. We dont seem to fly more than 2 hours as Al would drive me mad so we tend to end up on a Balearic island but maybe it's time for a change once we are allowed to travel. 

It would be lovely to stay in touch privately, as pen pals rather than cancer patients!!! 

Good luck for friday, stay safe and stay in touch.

Hugs

Stef xxxx