My name is Roseanna & I want to share my story with you.

A few months ago my mum suddenly started getting a really sore side. My dad, mum & I went to the doctor to get an emergency appointment (my parents are both deaf so I have to do the translating for them, my mum is also blind) the doctor examined her and knew straightaway that something wasn't right. The doctor wrote a letter and told us to go straight to A&E and to hand the letter in to reception. Off we went to A&E. The hospital wanted her to stay in overnight. I was worrying so much about her at work and I could barely sleep that night. The hospital did various tests and scans. Mum was in hospital for 2 nights. The day mum got to go home was the day mum also got the results of the scan. I remember the doctor and nurse coming into the room and I knew instantly it was bad news. The doctor said mum has pancreatic cancer and it has spread to her liver. I was numb with shock. I didn't know what to think. Mum had a few trips to the hospital one of which was for a biopsy. My mum, dad & sister went back up to the hospital to get the results of the biopsy. It wasn't good news. They said they couldn't operate because the cancer had already started spreading. They could give her chemo but it would make her very ill and tired. They advised her not to have chemo. They said it would be best for her to enjoy the time she has left (roughly 6 months) rather than being in hospital a lot for chemo. I was again, numb with shock. It suddenly hit me that my mum is going to miss out on so much, my wedding, me having kids. I'm only 20. I shouldn't be thinking about losing my mum at this age. I feel so many emotions. Anger, sadness, guilt. I just can't believe it but I know I need to try and make the next 6 months the best I possibly can for her. I know mum feels scared and so do I. The whole family does. Lots of people have told me to try & stay positive and this sort of angers me because I think it's so difficult to stay positive in a situation like this. I just can't bear the thought of losing my mum. We are close and she's been through so much. I feel bad because I haven't really cried that much while mum was in hospital and when we got told she only has 6 months left. I just wish this was all a nightmare. :( 

Please, share your stories with me too. Or if anyone wants to comment on this with help for me, feel free.

I just wanted to share my story so other people going through similar situations can read this and we can help each other.

Thank you. 

Roseanna x