I feel so low

Having had the good news that my breast cancer hasn't spread to the rest of my body, i initially felt great relief, but it's suddenly hit me like a brick that I still have cancer and i now feel incredibly low. Very few people know that I am ill. Those who do are still reeling from the shock so I don't want to burden them , but I feel awful. 

 

 

  • Hi all,

    Been quiet here for a few days. Feeling very well but for the itchy scalp and phenomenal hair loss. Can't wait to get the wig tomorrow and to have it styled on Friday. 

    Hope everyone else is ok.

    second batch of chemo tomorrow. Wonder what that will bring? 

    Love to all,

    Flora

  • Hi Flora, we both have our second chemo session this week, mine is on Friday and I seem to think Tracey has hers as well, so best of luck to all of us! Hope is goes as well as the first!

    Best wishes for the wig Flora.  I met my 'nice' neighbour yesterday and she asked me when did I expect to lose my hair and was amazed when I said I was wearing my wig! So glad to have fooled someone lol.  It is good to know you look 'normal' because I do look pretty dreadful without it that's for sure.

    Had a very quiet weekend, the weather was lovely and I felt well which was a bonus. Hope you all are enjoying this sunshine as well.

    Love and hugs, talk again soon xx

    margaret

  • Well, have reverted to my childhood today. As the weather is so glorious, went for a short walk on the beach and guzzled a 99 ! Haven't had a Mr whippy with a flake for years. Must admit it was yummy! Then had a cappuccino in a nearby cafe. It's the small things in life you start to appreciate even more now :))) 

  • Perhaps it's the chemo effect, cos this afternoon I went blackberrying, made b/berry and apple crumble and have just had a bowlful with clotted cream! Haven't had that for years and yummy it was too. You're right about appreciating the small things even more ..... Love Margaret xx

  • Second chemo session went well, although I had to wait for a couple of hours as they were so busy. Crikey those  nurses work hard and yet remain so cheerful and reassuring. Got my wig, ooooh it looks glamorous even though I say it myself! A bit more blonde than my whitening hair but I like it!! I look like my younger self! Let's hope this round of chemo is a good one for all of us.

    love,

    Floraxxx

  • Hi Flora, so glad you are happy with your wig and also that the chemo went ok, if a little late. All the very best to you and Margaret for your continuing treatments, it's great to see you are doing so well. Take care Sue x

  •  

    Hi Margaret

    My 3rd chemo was due today but has been deferred until next week as my blood count was low.  My 2nd one was deferred by a week as well! I saw the oncologist yesterday who said that after next week's chemo I will need to have injections for 5 days, 5 days after the next session. My husband has kindly volunteered to do this for me as both of my girls who work for the NHS will be off on a cruise next week.

    It's very frustrating because I just want it all to be done so that I can get on with things but I suppose I'll just have to go with the flow.

    How nice that you fooled your neighbour with your wig, at least you know it just looks like hair! I quite like the look of mine but I feel I need a bit more confidence to wear it.  I've still got hair at the back, it is thinning but I started with very thick hair so I've still got a bit to go yet. I expect it won't be long though before it all ends up in the shower tray!

    And talking about 99's - my youngest daughter and her husband came to visit at the weekend and it made her day that the ice cream van came while she was visiting. Such pleasures in life, yes you do appreciate things more now.

    Take care
    Tracey x



     

  • Oh Tracey,

    how frustrating to have the chemo sessions deferred. You work yourself up beforehand, just wanting it to be over and done with as soon as possible , then it must be a real let down when it doesn't happen. So sorry, still they know what they are doing and when you are strong enough to take it . There's something strangely reassuring in the fact that they are so careful with our treatment.

    i have been self injecting and it's not been a problem even though I can't bear to look when the nurses give me injections - must admit i'm getting more acccustomed to that now though! 

    I got my wig yesterday and it looks good , but does feel strange. I have a thin layer of my own hair left but that is coming off tomorrow and my hairdresser is going to customise the wig for me , not that there's much to be done to it. It really is brilliant.

     

    Hope all goes well with your next treatment .

    love ,

    Flora xx

  • Thanks Flora, I'll keep you posted.

    Tracey xx

  • Hi ladies, hope you are having your 3rd soon, if not had it already Tracey, and that you are doing well Flora.  I had my 2nd Friday, felt a bit queasy over the weekend, same as last time but had to go to doc this morning with yet another breast infection! It was sort of building up over the weekend and this morning I looked like a traffic light.  Phoned the oncology unit but, believe this, they did not have anyone who could sign a prescription and so sent me to my GP, who luckily obliged! Someone must have passed on my call though as I have been phoned and checked on twice since.  I just was a bit taken aback!

    so, hopefully the infection  will be back under control in time for no3, as they have said they can't give it to me until it is sorted, and last time it took three weeks.

    had a bit of excitement with the wig today, it is very windy here and I was in a particularly exposed place walking the dog, when an almighty gust came from behind and tipped the whole thing forward. I managed to hoist it back but could feel it wasn't quite in the right place, and I had to walk back (past other walkers) trying to casually hold the back in place. That is lesson no 1 for the winter, wear a hat rather than a wig in windy weather......

    Best wishes and hugs xx

    margaret