My Dad has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer

Hey all,

This is a kind of introduction and shoulder to lean on post. Excuse me if it's a little all over the place. 

My name is James and i'm in my early 30's. Just before Christmas, my Dad went for a routine check up about his diabetes and it was discovered that he was anemic. After various tests and scans we found out that he had been diagnosed with esophageal cancer. Sadly it had spread to other organs and an operation was not an option. So far he has had 3 rounds of chemotherapy and is in high spirits, with little side effects. He has another scan in a few weeks to see how well the chemotherapy is doing. I spoke privately with the oncologist and he estimated that my Dad has around 18 months, so my fiance and I have moved our wedding forward to August this year. We also found out recently that my Sister in law has had a double masectomy. She's had chemotherapy and is now undergoing radiotherapy.


Now, this is not a feel sorry for myself post, as I am normally an extremely strong person, but recently it seems that life is giving me a massive kick in the nuts. I'm currently in my 3rd year of university and finding it hard to finish something that normally I'm so passionate about. Whilst at uni, I worked part time as a barman, but on the day of diagnosis I also found out that I had lost my job as the bar had to shut down for health and safety reasons. To top it all off, in the last few weeks my car has given up on me and has to be scrapped. 

I'm trying my best to be supportive to my Mum as she is finding it difficult. She is a strong person like me normally, but i've learnt to notice when she needs help. She's lucky having a few good friends who come and see her, taking her for coffee to take her mind of things for a few hours. Myself, I don't feel as fortunate. My fiance tries to be supportive, but it's a difficult subject to talk to her about. I've never really shown my weaknesses to her as the role is normally me being the supportive one. My friends are great, but never seem to ask me how i'm doing. They are more concerned with what's happening within their own lives. I kinda need some help from people going through the same thing so though I would post on here.

Anyway, i'm not really sure on how to end this post, so...




 

  • Hi Nigel,

    So sorry to read about your Dad’s situation, I know from personal experience how stressful those early days can be. 

    I hope things go well for your Dad and this turns out not to be OC, but something less scary.

    If it is OC, let’s hope they’ve caught it early enough for it to be survivable. 

     

    Best wishes

    Dave

  • Hi Dave,

    My Dad has stage 3 OC. He has received the FLOT chemo and coped well. We thought that this was in preparation for the operation but unfortunately it was found in a lymph node. We have had the horrendous news that's there is no way of curing the cancer and he has just started radiotherapy today. My Dad is convinced that this is he last Christmas with us, we obviously hope it isn't but really haven't been given any sort of timescales. Does anyone have any similar experience?

  • Hi Charlie,

    That is horrible news to receive. I was in an almost identical situation six years ago but luckily I responded unusually well to chemo. This is very rare, but it does sometimes happen. 

    I’ve known many people who have responded well to chemo and lived longer than their initial prognosis which are always based on averages ignoring factors such as age, fitness and co-morbidities. 

    Oncologists are always wary of giving timescales because it is hard to get it right and everyone is disappointed or angry when they get it wrong. When I was newly diagnosed a friend who happened to be a doctor advised me to ask “would you be surprised if ...” I tried that and it worked, but make sure you’re prepared for the worst. I was happy enough with the answer to “would you be surprised if I was here to enjoy Christmas” but not with “... next Christmas”.

    Good luck

    Dave

     

  • Don't know if this will be of help to anyone, but, I was diagnosed as having oesophageal cancer September 2019. Had chemo prior to an operation in Oxford Feb 2018. All went well with no follow on post chemo. It was disgust but felt it would improve matters.Am now fully recovered. Lost just under 5 stone and 80% of stomach removal, Have not still put weight back on. Feel better 11stone. Still get regular regurgitation. Bowel movement approx 6 times a day especially about two hours after main meal. Had bowel cancer in 2009 and a triple heart by pass in 2012 plus 4 stent inserted. Still doing pre op activities, walking 2+ miles each day, gardening, etc and being proactive helps me a lot. Hope this sharing of experiences is of help to others. Please keep positive if you can. Take care.