I had estrogen positive cancer in both breasts 21 years ago and now a similar 9mm lump has appeared again. But for me what I am most worried about is the second tumour found that is just 6mm in size but is triple negative. As I don't have children they don't think it worth checking for genetic mutations. As both tumours are small a mastectomy is booked and will happen in the New Year. They think chemotherapy may not be necessary and hormone treatment also may not be required which I appreciate is good news but I am still worried about the aggressive nature of a triple negative breast cancer.

There are no signs that either cancers have spread to any of my lymph nodes or major organs, so shouldn't I be over the moon about all this?  Yet, I'm not, there is still much I don't yet understand and living alone just means all this stuff bounces back and forth in my mind. I still feel that it's a bit of a dream...and I have only cried once and that was when a bird hit the bonnet of my car and I prayed that I hadn't killed it - then I sobbed and it felt that my body had been heard and acknowledged. How do I listen to my body more? How can I manage the emotions or lack of them at present when living alone? Everyone around me is celebrating that the news is so positive, then why am I not feeling that joy? 

Sorry if that all seems a bit much for an introduction - it just came tumbling out and when I re-read it I cried. Happy to receive any thoughts, reactions or guidance on this 'journey' we are all experiencing at different stages of our lives and with our unique experience.