Hi Barney,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Do you know what type of breast cancer you have or what stage it is? I am not at all surprised that you are struggling with the diagnosis - we nearly all do. Many also find it hard to believe that this is happening to them and it is not unusual to be in denial. I can understand that you don't want a mastectomy, none of us do, but there is no choice. It is hard to cope when everything is happening so quickly. Place your faith in your care team and they will see you through.

You will still be you at the end of treatment, but a much stronger you, once you've come through it all. I felt exactly like you when I was first diagnosed. I had lost my mum to secondary breast cancer. She had a particularly bad experience with her cancer care and I was terrified that I was facing the same. Fortunately, diagnosis, treatment and after care have all improved vastly in the interim and there was just no comparison between the experience that we both had.

I had a lumpectomy first time around, but developed pre-cancer in the other breast 6 months later, then a second cancer in the original breast, within less than a year from my first surgery. I had a double mastectomy second time around. Unfortunately, I was not a suitable candidate for reconstruction, due to previous non-cancer related surgery, but I manage fairly well with an assortment of prostheses for different activities. I was first diagnosed 16 years ago and I still lead a busy and fulfilling life. I am not as physically fit as I was before, but I am much stronger mentally.

Do you have a date for surgery yet and is your reconstruction being done at the same time? I sincerely hope that it all goes well for you. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx