Today hasn’t been the best of days, but really trying to put a smile on my face and keep a positive mind.

Last week I went to my gp as I found a small lump in my right breast, on examination it was determined that I fit the 2 week criteria for referral to the breast clinic. 

Just under 2 weeks my appointment was booked.   

Today was my breast clinic appointment and it’s not what I expected, I was taken to a room to get into a gown, a surgeon seen me first with a nurse to examine me, he asked me to identify the area and then proceeded to examine me, he was quick to mark the area with a cross of where he identified the lump, he asked if it was ok for the nurse to also examine me so she could tell the difference between both breasts, which I agreed.

I was then sent for a mammogram on both breast for comparison not that anything was suspicious in my left breast. I was then asked to sit outside where I waited and was called for an ultrasound scan , once in the room the nurse said a doctor will be coming to scan me, as soon as she scanned me, she said that biopsies were required and she would take 3 of them.

I was surprised it wasn’t painful in anyway, a needle was put in the area of the site of the lump and then the biopsies were performed. I was then asked to put my gown back on and sit in the waiting area, again after some time I was called back to the first room I was originally examined by the surgeon. The surgeon then told me that the lump is sinister, trying to take in what he had just said, I asked for clarification that he believed the lump is sinister to which he responded with yes, that’s why the biopsies were preformed. 

The surgeon left the room and the kind nurse made me a cup of tea, gave me a much needed hug and discussed depending the results will depend what treatment is required 

I am struggling because I didn’t think such news would be shared until biopsy results were back with certainty and I just felt and still feel numb  

Now I’m really struggling to comprehend all this and being a glass half full kind of lady,  I keep telling myself it’s not confirmed until I go back Wednesday next week for the results, but my head is all over and I can’t stop breaking down crying.  

I just needed to get this down on paper so to speak, to hopefully help me digest and hopefully feel support from an amazing people on here. 

xx