I was diagnosed just over four years ago with breast cancer in both boobs, and my lymph nodes.
Since then I've suffered lots with periods of anxiety, and I've never really come to terms with what happened. I bury it from everyone else as I'm sure they've had enough of me. Anyway, this period now my employer has sent me for couselling to find out what my "problem" is. After only two sessions the counsellor has told me that she is 99% certain that I have PTSD and she is shocked that no-one has ever picked it up before. Why would they, I don't tell anyone about the flash backs and the terror. I think I'm just not coping with life in general and I should forget it and be grateful. Which of course I really am, I couldn't have had better support from our great health service. But when I'm wading through the porridge of life I take myself off in to my own little world of silence and just go over and over what happened. Things are a little worse at the moment as my consultant has told me the next time I see him will be the last !! I told him and I really meant it that although I would be over the moon to never see his face again( in the nicest possible way) I also, at the same time want him to come and live with me ! He laughed but I really meant it. I really feel at times as though they are leaving me out at sea without a life jacket.Is there anyone else out there that has been through this sort of thing ?
I'm strangely pleased that this this PTSD has been mnetioned, it's as if I've been validated in my fears and feelings. I honestly thought that was only possible to happen to soldiers and the military, or kidnap victims.........it appears not.
I'd really appreciate any comments or tips because I'm getting fed up with myself now and am feeling really guilty about the way I feel when so many others don't get the results I've had so far,
Phew why didn't I say all this on here months and years ago, this site has been very good to me over the years but I've felt on my own with this one,
Marian