It is not a book puddles - just 3 or 4 pages long - will take 5mins to read x

First time on a Forum. I was diagnosed in February 2010 with Breast Cancer. After 2 ops, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, I've had clear mammograms to date. A year after the treatments I had my Gall Bladder removed,  at the same time as the menopause,  I'm 63.

What I didn't know about, was the problems you can have afterwards. I still get pain in my breast and have told the doctor at the Breast Clinic each time but was told that, some ladies do experience pain and I will have to learn to live with it. Because my other breast wasn't shielded, I also have some discomfort.

I'm still also very tired, (although that could be slightly age related) . I have lost taste and smell and I have trouble with my stomach.  All since I had the Cancer Treatment. 

I am more than grateful for all the care and treatment I received, which lasted 6 months but on some days I do struggle with the problems I've been left with.

As you can see in the previous posts from me, I am now 2 1/2 years since diagnosis.  They found my lump by a routine mamogram.  Although I do feel generally quite well. I do get tired, and as I am 60 I put this down to my age and still working?  I too have pain in my breasts and the surgeon said exactly the same to me.  For me the physical changes are not too much of a problem, but no one prepares you for the feelings you have after treatment.  You fear it coming back, scared when you have pains in your body, and can feel very tired.  At our age would we have felt it anyway?   

I have queried the fact that I have only had one mamogram since treatment - they say I only need one every two years.

My grandchildren have helped me through this, I look forward to every time I am with them, and thank God I am still here.

Hi I know exactly how you feel after being diagnosed with breast cancer 3 years ago I still struggle with any aches. & pains. I immediately think oh heck please don't return. i had a mastectomy & reconstruction all in one operation within 3 weeks of diagnosis. My world was turned upside down. I returned to work 4 months after my operation but my dad died 1 month later from lung cancer & I honestly don't know how I managed to cope. I now feel ok but more tired than I did before diagnosis. Not sure if this is a side effect of radiotherapy? 

I also feel.better being able to write this. 

Nice to talk to someone in the same position - please keep in touch.

Hi I had breast cancer in Aug 2014 and finished 20 sessions of Radiotherapy in November 2014.  I found my cancer lump really early so only had a Lumpectomy. I'm taking Tamoxifen now and have returned back to work in January 2015.  My problem being is I'm absolutely shattered and feel really low. Im not sure why I'm feeling like this, I did return back to my active life attending the gym as this does make me feel better and I feel I can try justify my tiredness doing this. I hate feeling low though and putting this on my husband as feel I have already put him through so much. Just want my life back to what it was, but finding it a struggle. 

HI,  Be kind to yourself, it has not been 12 months since the end of your treatment.  I like you, wanted to get back to normal as soon as possible, but it does take time.  I think the initial worries at the start and during treatment wears you out, yet alone the treatment.  My boses were very good at the beginning, and let me have extra rest during the day.  Colleagues were also very good, and aware I got tired easy.  When I returned to work, I also agreed with my husband that he would take on some extra household responsibilities.

About a year ago I visited my doctor because the hot flushes were really bad, and I was not sleeping.  I felt really low in myself.  He gave me various solutions, and I agreed to take a very, very low anti-depresant.  This really worked for me.  Reading the side-affects of Tamoxifen, I believe this can cause low mood and mood swings.  The anit-depresent tablets have helped me, but everyone is different, and I was a person who did not agree with taking tablets for depression before, but hey ho if they help for a short time.

I made sure at weekends I had the time for a long walks, and did things that I enjoyed.  Did you attend the Moving On programme -this was really good.

It has been a few years for me, and  I can remember feeling like you.  I remember at about your stage, I went to slimming world, as I put on about 2 1/2 stone during chemo, after work and almost fell asleep through the session.

I have quite a physical job, working as a teaching assistant in a special needs school (children with complex needs), and at 60, and after treatment, I can, with the support of colleagues keep up with them!!!

I have changed a few things in my life.  I used to cook Sunday lunch for all my family, spending most of the day cooking, but my daughter or son now invites me to their house, and I play with the children.  I make sure I get "me time", reading, walking or just talking on the phone to friends.  

I hope some of this helps, keep in touch.

Diane  xxx

Hi Diane, seems like quite a relief speaking to someone who can understand. I'm not the type of person that seeks sympathy or feels sorry for myself hence I hate feeling this low when I feel I have no reason now to feel like this.  I went back to work but dropped one of my days temporarily as feeling shattered quite a lot. I'm a foster carer as well and I've had the same two girls for six years now (one is 14, the other 15) my 15 year old is special needs and she is having her own struggles so I tried to keep my household as normal as possible as didn't want my girls finding out anything as they have been through a lot already but found this hard myself to do! I've also been back to hospital in February as found another lump, I got sent for a scan but they said they couldn't see anything but to keep an eye on it! ,I try not to worry as life too short but finding it hard. Thanks again for your help tho, much appreciated! Julie

hi puddles, found your comment helpful and insightful.i was diagnosed at 25 and after chemo, radiotherapy,herceptin, mastectomy, reconstruction and subsiquent ops and now tamoxiphen im feeling well.  i was pretty good at positivity during treatment and think ive lost my opportunity to be outwardly upset or frightened particularly now im  well again.  ive had lots of surgical after effects in the form of bumps and pain which has really frightened with me and it doesnt seem to get easier. im trying to stop bracing myself for more but not sure how and dont have any friends or family who have been in a similar position.  im not an axious person and feeling on edge isnt something i know what to do with other than squish it.  any advice? i hope this finds you and other people in the forum well.  first time here and not quite sure how it works. x

I think during treatment all our engeries are being used up, physical and mental.  We have to come to terms with the cancer and deal with the treatment.  A lot of things are going on, we have to go through the trauma of telling friends and family, loosing our hair, hospital visits, changes in our body, and missing our daily routine.  I actually missed getting up and going to work!   I missed my colleagues and not feeling me. But nothing prepared me for the feelings you have after treatment.  The first mamogram and going back to the Oncologist was scary.  Every pain we worry about, and we feel the need to stay positive.  Staying positive is good, but sometimes we need to let everything out and scream.  I felt I should be pleased and happy that I have survived, but life is still difficult, as we can grieve for the old you.

I have found that saying to myself over and over again that I have finished treatment, and it is time to live for today.  This is a cliche and difficult to do, but it is true.  I think also by acknowledging that our feelings are normal after everything we have been through is helpful.  I also find exercise very good, I walk a lot and am looking to find a yoga group.

I was talking to a mom and daughter the other day, who both went through breast cancer at the same time!! - this was 15 years ago, they are now fit and well.  They said it does get better as time goes on, and now they hardly every think about it.

I don't think people who have not gone through this can understand, but if you have a friend that you can confide in, it may be helpful to sit down and talk to her/him about how you feel.  I think generally, people are so pleased you have come through this, they want to put it behind and carry on as normal.

Please keep in touch with this site - we are here to help each other.

Diane xxx