Hi Victoria...

Welcome to our little chat room ...  

Well I can only add a little to what jolomine has said ... she helped me through those early days ..

To be honest, I think I'd feel differently if I were younger .. but even at my age was scared to look the first time after my total right masectomy...  as I'd seen others, so was prepaired to feel devistated... as I looked down that first time, I was surprised at my thoughts ... l just thought, o.k they took my breast, but gave me back something more precious,  time ... time with my son, my amazing granddaughter who is my world .. and just thought, o.k I can live with this .. now nearly 3 years on, it's my war wound ... a war l went through with cancer ... and I'm o.k with it, as it reminds me of my journey.... 

Like jolomine says .. there are those out there that love unconditionally... and I think .. we have to feel worthy in our selfs first ... we need to be kind to us, if we think we may not be good enough, how will someone else ... you are amazingly stronger then you give yourself credit for .. looking back to the start, did you think you could have come this far .. and if someone thinks a boob is so important, and can't cope, then they are not worth it any way .. 

Life is family  first ... friendship second  ...  and a partner who cares is the icing on the cake ... but with or without iceing .... is still worth living for ... after cancer, every day is a bonus .. a new way of looking at yourself, and life .. we can mourn what was taken from us, or be thankful for what we do have ... 

I now have a hysterectomy scar ... a ceaserian ( where number one son came out the sun roof) a scar for a boob ... and lots of stretch marks too ... but hay ho .. like the song .. this is me ... but I can empathise with those young ones , as I've said , my age helps me think this way ... Chrissie xx

Hello Jolamine

Thank you so much for your wise words..I am 54 in May...I think I was just having a moment last night..Everything you say has been well listened too as I think deep down I know it will be ok, early days yet just 2 weeks after the masectomy and it's quite a good long scar, quite neat at the moment. I think because I'm single it just hit me how/if/ever I will meet someone.  However it is about loving yourself and body before you can share with anyone with or withou a breast. I wouldn't even contemplate a reconstruction now I know what is involved and it would look very strange without a real nipple anyway!! So yes, I'll be strong, I'll become confident with myself and feel lucky that life has actually been quite kind to me.

Thank you again your wise and strong words have really helped and so glad I joined others to share our feelings.. maybe I can be helpful to someone else in the same situation in time.

Victoria x

Thank you chrissie

Wise and kind words which I needed last night.  It was a moment only 2 weeks after surgery and I'll probably have more like these but I'll read back on your words and tell myself I'm lucky I don't have to have further treatment and I'm sure it will make me a stronger person. I'm not going to lose my sense of humour either because that gets me through most things so thank you for reminding me, life can be hard but it can be great and precious and fun.

Victoria x

Hi Victoria,

I'm glad to hear that your scar looks quite neat. If it looks ok now, I'm sure that it will continue to do so.

Did your surgeon discuss the possibility of reconstruction? I know that the hospitals are not doing much reconstruction at present, but you can still opt for this at a later date. You can also get a tattoo of a nipple, which, I understand is very realistic.

I couldn't have reconstruction as a result of previous non-cancer-related surgery, but I manage well with a selection of prostheses for different occasions. I still manage to swim and go to the gym. You should get an appointment for a fitting once your breast is fully healed. You will probably get a Silicone prosthesis, which will be quite heavy.  Ask for the lightest one that they can supply. This is usually replaced every 2 years.

I am glad to hear that my words may have helped you a little. I have no doubt at all that your input will be invaluable to someone in a similar situation in time.

Just continue to love yourself as you are. I see that my friend, Chrissie, has reinforced what I said. She is so right. How can you expect others to value you, if you don't know your own self worth? Once you have a little more time to come to terms with everything, you will realise how lucky you are. Cancer does change us and, makes every day a bonus, but it makes us stronger. The big thing is to try and stay positive throughout all of this.
Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi there

This is the first time I have used a forum...

I am due to have a double mastectomy in June, I am 35 years old. Similar to the question above, I am curious about the recovery and what to expect. I am an active person and fear being told I cannot do something, because I will only do it anyway!

I am not able to have reconstruction at the same time, and will need to wait at least a year post radiotherapy. I wonder about bras, swim wear etc and in general clothing to wear. I am used to wearing what ever I like, do I need to consider different styles? I will be using prothesis in the mean time. Are there any on line shops anyone would recommend for pretty underwear? 
 

It is really lovely to to see so many positive comments and such a supportive network.

Hi KjsLCMS,

Welcome to our forum. I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis at such a young age. I had my first diagnosis of breast cancer 11 years ago, when I had a lumpectomy followed by Tamoxifen. Almost a year to the day later, I was diagnosed with a second bout in the same breast. This time I had a bilateral mastectomy , followed by Letrozole. I took this for 6 years, before I stopped taking it in July 2017.

When in June are you due to have your surgery, what type and grade of cancer do you have?

It is unfortunate that you have been diagnosed during this pandemic and, that you cannot have your reconstruction until a year after you finish your radiotherapy. I couldn’t have reconstruction as a result of previous non-cancer related surgery, but I manage well with a selection of prostheses to suit most occasions. I had little bother with the surgery. Recovery was pretty straight-forward., although I did have to get antibiotics for an infection and to get some fluid aspirated from my breasts post-surgery.

You will find it more of a challenge to get feminine and fashionable post-surgery bras. Some stores do hold a small stock of bras which are pocketed in both cups. You are also entitled to get 2 bras per year fitted with pockets via your hospital. You can purchase more if you want to. Most bras come in white, nude or black. M&S supply post-surgical bras. Some of these are more presentable than others, but they are only available in their larger stores or online. Some Debenhams stores also stock post-mastectomy bras. There are also a number of different mail order companies which offer prettier looking bras, but they are quite expensive. Companies like Nicola Jane, Amoeba and UK swimwear supply bras, tops and swimwear online. You will find a number of other companies if you search for post-surgery underwear/swimwear online.

For swimwear, I found that the biggest problem was finding a suitable prosthesis for swimming and I often just buy an ordinary swimsuit and sew the pockets in myself. I have to be careful that the front is not too revealing, or it shows my scars. This is also the case for some evening wear and summer tops and dresses. However, I can sometimes get away with these by using a lace modesty panel.

If I can be of any further help, please let me know. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi KjsLCMS

I can see that Jolamine has already given you some great pointers about mastectomy bras and clothing. I'd suggest also having a look online at Tu by Sainsburys and George at Asda as they also both stock post surgery bras and swimwear. Some stores will have them in stock but you can also have a look online. 

I know it's not necessarily the first places that people would think to shop so just wanted to offer some more suggestions. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

Just a little note, as I see jolomine is looking after you, just like she did me, three years ago ..

You say your really active and will push to doing things ... please please don't push this .. listen to your body, and as soon as it says enough .. stop .. or you may do more damage .. your body will need to heal .. and like all things, you will get back to a new "normal" as I'm sorry but things are never quite the same .. if you have lymph node taken, that arm will be allot weaker, and needs gentle exercise... that takes time .. 

Just look at it like the carona lock down, yes we have to adjust .. and yes we have to stay in .. but slowly things get back .. but don't do one step forward then have to take two back ..

You can do this .. sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx

Hi Jolamine,

Thank you for your repsonse, it is really helpful. I have lost many an hour googling the bra's you recommend and managed to find some that I happy with. As Jenn suggested, Asda had some nice ones and very reasonably priced. Found a swim suit on M&S too which is great as my Mum has recently purchased a hot tub!

I have BRCA 2 so having a double mastectomy to reduce the risk of other types of breast cancer in the future. 

I hear you Chriss, I have had to learn when to push and when not too which is a new skill for sure! Though I am a great believer in exercise and strength and have researched a lot into this to make sure iI do it safely. I feel positive about the surgery and hope for a safe and quick recovery. 

I havent been given a prosthesis yet, just the softies. Do you usually get these after surgery?

It is good to hear the recovery seems straight forward.
Another question I had, off the subject was regarding travel insurance, are there any anyone would recommend please?

Thank you for all your help and suggestions.

:-)

Hi KjsLCMS,

I’m glad to hear that you have managed to find some bras that you’re happy with. A swimsuit will be handy for your mum’s hot tub.

With BRCA, a bilateral mastectomy sounds like a sensible decision. You won’t get your prostheses until your breasts have healed after your surgery. I know that you are keen to continue exercising after your surgery and hope that you can continue to do this. My friend Chriss is quite right. Don’t overtax yourself. Listen to your body and only do what it allows. You will be given exercises to do post-surgery. Make sure that you do these regularly, as this will make all the difference to your recuperation.

I omitted to advise you of clothing to take into hospital with you. You will find it useful to have nightwear that opens at the front, as you will find it uncomfortable to lift clothing over your head to start with. You may also find it helpful to have a small heart shaped cushion to put under your arm in the first month or so. I bought two because of the double mastectomy, but found that I could only realistically use one at a time. You might also find it useful to ask your breast care nurse whether or not your hospital supplies bags to hold your drains. Because I had a double mastectomy, I needed drains on both sides. The bags were a blessing, because they saved me from having to drag two drip stands with me everywhere I went. My hospital didn’t supply these, so I made two very simple shoulder bags to pop my drain bags into. However that was 10 years ago and, from what I’ve heard from others, most hospitals seem to supply these now.

You asked about travel insurance. I have a number of other health issues and my husband has heart failure, so our insurance is fairly hefty, but we still manage to buy annual insurance. The companies mentioned below will cover medical conditions including cancer, although some won’t cover cancer for the first year after surgery.

Staysure                                                 0800 281 1896

All Clear Travel Insurance                      0808 281 8400

Insurancewith@tifgroup.co.uk.               0203 829 3875.

Avanti Travel Insurance                        0808 281 2948

Insurepink                                               0800 862 0946 

OnYourWay Insurance                                    0203 006 5711

Freedom Insurance                                0870 774 3760

Insure and Go                                        0844 888 0444

Atlasdirect.co.uk                                     0844 482 3400

Insureforall.com                                      0870 890 3548

MIA online ltd                                          01268 783383

*Good to go Insurance                           0330 024 9949

Less Clicks More Cover                          0844 887 0750

Saga Online

*World First                                             0345 908 0161

Marks & Spencer Online

The Companies with the asterisks cover the USA.

I hope that these are of some help to you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx