Hope you are soon feeling a little better Billy x

Thank you i don't mind a bit of sympathy, always makes me feel a bit better, 

Billy 

Hows you today me dear.... lovely to see you posting ️

Eeeee peeps...,My road is looking like the set of mad max with all the machines starting t pull up. Forgot they are starting 3 days of road resurfacing. 

I live on an estate... no main roads.... I’d have preferred them t do the potholes on the mains.

about 5 yrs ago I thought a councillor must  have moved on the estate cos the snowplough started clearing our street nd  road gritter always swings by in winter lol. Now road resurface..... it’s an estate!

dont get me wrong it’s nice for the street but .... bigger problems on main roads really. 

Triple whammy really with my addesons I'm immune system not very good, struggling just with cold but gp cannot do anything other than lemsip meds react and i finish up in hospital it's happened couple of times, I'm hoping Mrs does not get it, 

Billy 

Hi Sandra - thank you for your message which is so much appreciated.  I am not good.  How do others manage to cope with 'not knowing'.  I know I have two lymph nodes which have cancerous cells but I know nothing more.  I am to wait for a letter with an appointment for yet another scan.  That is all I know.  I have gone from thinking & hoping that the cancer is 'just' contained in thes two lymph nodes to thinking that the lymph nodes are secondary and the cancer is raging through my body.  I don't know what to do to stop myself thinking like this - I don't know who to ask.  I feel so pathetic and selfish when so many others have gone through so much on here.  How does one cope with all the waiting and not knowing?  I feel I have had a diagnosis yet without a diagnosis.  What does two lymph nodes have cancerous cells mean.  I feel as if I am in limbo.  I am so sorry - I am not actually asking you these questions in the hope you can answer them as you can't of course.  I am just thinking out loud as opposed to the simering to boiling thoughts constantly going around in my head.  Thank you for listening x

Bless... you are at the first step which is the hardest.... the not knowing the endless waiting and the emotions all adds up to exactly what you are experiencing... and some . 

The following sounds sooooo twee nd flip but.... works. So.... stop thinking ahead with the what ifs, would haves, should haves .... these things will lead your mind to dark places- you don’t want that negativity in your life now. Remember all the angst in the world won’t change a single thing it is what it is - nothing till it’s something.

If you find out it’s something ..... you will also find out what your treatment plan is.... that is what will start you  to feel the fight in your soul.  

Keep busy... keep talking and do all things you fancy doing not need doing and hold loved ones close. Not because you have cancer but because you should have always been doing this. ️

Its awful when you know you should be in bed looking after yourself but lack of choice because of commitments. 

We know we have to push through but doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. Thinking of you Billy x

I didn't really think about it before but i was a couple of months before they told me where all my C was i know prostate but not other places till i had a load of scans to confirm it over 3 years ago i forgot about it, thinking about the now,. Have you had some food,. I'm going to keep on till you eat something, God bless. 

Billy