I am in the fortunate situation as to where my 3 brain tumours are benign, one of the little critters has grown which has led me on to 29 rounds of radiotherapy, I am ashamed to say my ignorance around chemotherapy and radiotherapy was daft and I had a lot of 'no information' of which condition was which, until I was in it, to me and I apologise profusely, and presumed  if you had cancer you had chemotherapy and went bald, and I really had no stupid intelligence about radiotherapy, until I was that patient, I am so lucky to live 4 miles from Hospital and my Oncologist  decided quite quickly i had to have29 radiotherapy sessions, 5 days a week, now hitting number 13, and it's tricky, but I have the privilege of being transported by the brilliant Daft as a Brush volunteer service , which a lot of their members are surviving chemo/radiotherapy people and the warmth and advice they have given me will stay with me forever.

Sometimes I feel like a fraud because so much tragedy has happened to my little family but then when you hear an official nurse saying things to you about being prepared maybe for the next stage of radiotherapy which could be hairless and  about maybes applying for a voucher through the NHS for a  wig..it then becomes real..because I feel no one believes what I am going through, because .well it's not to bad it's a quick shot of radium...and those words destroyed me and I did Investigate the word 'radium' as I have never heard it used  , but the one thing it is used in its wording for is mens prostate cancer , and sorry don't think I've got that.

I lost my darling husband last January, my Eldest son lives in Dubai and our youngest 24yr old son will always need me , well he can't live independently due to him just to special for this Earth to rampage on his own, my life has crumpled into where Iam nothing to nobody just a cook, cleaner and dogs body for being here, not one person has come to see  me..all the empty offers, all the help offered. I won't beg anyone for help, I will always do it myself, as iam, and iam struggling but I do it all on my own, walk on from treatment, hoover right through, then get get food sorted, washing out of dryer and put away, tea done, take maxs can of pop and cutlery into living room to him, i clean all benches and pans etc that need doing, serve tea/ dinner up, take it through to max, I get last of dishes done, benches, cooker cleaned, have dinner so all Max is left with is 2 dinner plates and cutlery, then at 8.00pm I go through and make his supper and at 9.00pm I wash up, check he's okay in bed then I crash x