I have cancer and sometimes my husband's attention and help is too much, despite how much I love and appreciate him. There are times when I just want to be left alone to process the situation and being depressed about it is understandable. It's hard for everyone involved. If we see a loved one in distress we want to help them right away. All I can say is don't feel miserable and unappreciated because you aren't. He needs you. But maybe read the signs re what he seems to need from you at different points, rather than what you think is best for him. It's very hard to be constantly upbeat, I'm in a bit of a pit myself right now, and I just want to wallow in it until the feelings pass. I don't want to be cheered up, but if my husband wasn't around I'd be totally adrift. I hope I don't sound preachy, I'm just sharing my own experience of the ups and downs involved with treatment and everything being out of control. I bet you're doing an amazing job of supporting him in awful circumstances.