Caring for ex husband stage 4 Cancer

Hi 

I don't really know where to start.my ex husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung Cancer that has spread to his spine,hip and collar bone three weeks ago. It was a complete shock his only symptom was leg pain.

He left me 8 years ago. But he has no family,nor have I. We do have 3 daughters,13,15 and 24. He's been in and out of their lives..

My head is wrecked.. I've known him since I was 19. 35 years. He's not bad hes broken. He also has Asperger's. I've let him move back in (spare room). I'm sad and a bit angry.im so confused.

I've got to keep strong for my daughter's but I don't feel strong,

Cancer in s pandemic is difficult.

I feel like I'm loosing my mind.

Sorry for my first post to be so crazy.

Hx

 

 

  • ps  i am skidders  it made  me change ha ha. I am  clueless.x

  •  

    Hi Phlegm,

    Thank you so much for you kind comment. It sounds as if you have really been through the mill recently. I am so sorry to hear about the brain mets. Here's hoping that the chemo tablets help to reduce them and, that surgery will then be ppossible. 

    You have the right mindset. Just keep thinking positive thoughts and, you'll get there. Remember that we are always here for you on bad, as well as good days.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • thank u so much.  Ur  a kind lady and very wise. Ur words help alot  of us. U gave me hope  and strength. Thank  u. X x xd

  • Hi Skidders,

    I sometimes wonder if I contribute too much, so am pleased to hear that my words can still help some. I was fortunate enough to gain a lot of hope and strength from this site in my early days and, am more than happy to give a little back if I can.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Ur amazing and have  helpd me loads ova the past 15 mnths and i kno  u wil  keep me strong.  I  feel  i  kno u.  Connectd.  I was meant to hear  frm  you. Huge hugs.x x

  •  i hav replied but  its  gone ha ha. U give me the strength  i need.  Feel  i  kno u and we are connectd.  Thank u. X x

  • Hi 

    Thanks so much for your reply.i really appreciate it.

    I'm worried about carers bringing covid onto the house.iIm also worried about the schools reopening. The hospital has already said he's in serious trouble if he gets it.

    It isn't good having been through this before as in s bit scared. He seems totally ok at the moment,just a bit hyper with the steroids.he took his car out for a run as it's been parked up.

    I've ordered an online shop of different food incase he feels rough after chemo.

    I need to protect the girls as best as I can.

    The builder is coming tomorrow as we don't have a downstairs toilet and I know from experience we will need one.

    How's things with you? Have you had a good day?

     

     

  •  

    Hi Skidders,

    I must be giving you some of my unique computer skills too, as I have lost more posts than I care to think about over the years.

    Sorry about that.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Ha  ha  i  am  realy rubbish, i  have  had  gud day. Managd to  cut  steroids down and  a sleep  wow ha ha u guys are helpin me so much. Means  the world. Thank u. X x

  •  

    Hi Helens,

    I can fully understand your concern about bringing carers in with Covid, but they should all be vaccinated by mow. I know that this doesn’t stop them from passing anything on, but surely this is no more of a risk than that of the children bringing it home once they start back at school?

    I’m glad to hear that the builder is coming tomorrow and hope that he can sort out a downstairs toilet for you quickly. You’ve done well to get prepared for taste changes once he starts chemo. I can fully understand why you are so scared, but please remember that not all cancer cases are the same – I’m sincerely hoping that this will be easier for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx