My view is, if you feel like a cry, and it can be beneficial, then do so when you're with your wife, rather than when alone. I think it's best to share everything, good or bad.

It won't make you any less of a man and it won't make you any less 'strong'. You will not be seen as less supportive.

It may also give your wife an opportunity to cry with you, a release for her as well as a shared experience.

Regards

Taff

My partner is emotional anyway but I tend to be strong & not so emotional anyways. For now it's not getting to me. I guess it may all come flooding out when we get a diagnosis regardless of good or bad.

***Edit***

Update below

Well we got a diagnosis. They are not exactly sure but we're seeing a radiation therapist on Monday to get a clinical rating. It wasn't able to be completed initially due to the bleeding. It may be a stage 1 or a stage 2. Radiation therapy is going to be used & the appointment on Monday will set the 5+ week schedule.

So we're assured the prognosis is good & have a lot of support from family. I'll be telling my son tomorrow as we have some information & can then update him when we have the schedule.

Now have to start dealing with our employees to organise time off & still be paid.

Thanks all for allowing me to type & proving comforting information. I'll update Monday after our specialist appointment.

Regards

Kermit

Good to hear.

Regards

Taff

Hi Kermit,

Sorry to hear that the bleeding is still a problem, but glad to hear that you have surmounted it and finally got a diagnosis. I’m not surprised that your partner was a bit cranky today after she had fasted for 16 hours - I hope that she got something tasty once her tests were over.

Stage 1 or 2 isn’t too bad – I feared that it might be more with that amount of bleeding for so long.

I shall be thinking of you tomorrow as you break the news to your son. Fortunately he is old enough to understand the situation.

I also hope that all goes well on Monday when you see the specialist.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

The bleeding is on & off. It's never been constant but some episodes have been bad hence the transfusions.

We've been advised the bleeding will stop once the treatment starts which should be within a week of the initial appointment. The appointment on Monday is to assess the best way to treat her, get actual classification & get a timeline.

The main issue is the lymph node which is why they want to start ASAP. The PET-CT shows it hasn't spread yet so they want to get on top of it now.

After reading up on this more though it automatically pushed it to late stage 3 or early 4 which does have me really worried. Although both specialists so far have said stage 1 or 2 finding information online that conflicts with what you have been told is not a good feeling.

I know I have to wait until Monday so I'm trying to take my mind off things. I did tell my son what we currently know & we can give him a lot more information when we get it.

Regards

Kermit

 Hi, i hope Monday has some better news for your wife and yourself . Barbara

Hi Kermit,

This will be an anxious weekend, but at least you should know more on Monday. I'm sure that it will be a relief when the bleeding stops. It's good news that it hasn't spread from the lymph nodes as yet, so the sooner treatment starts the better.

Don't read too much over the weekend. You will probably convince yourself that it is worse than it actually is. I sincerely hope that the consultants in the hospital are more accurate than Dr Kermit!

How did your son take the news? At least he knows now and can feel included in everything.

I shall be thinking of you both on Monday and hoping for a stage 1 or 2 result.

Stay strong.

Jolamine

I have stopped reading up on stages & treatment. I've started to look at diets for cancer patients & a referral to a dietitian. No more Doctor Kermit.

Her relatives (nurses & nursing teacher) are doing more investigating & understand everything more than me.

Our son didn't take the news well but told him he will get more information on Monday when we have it.

I finally broke down this morning in front of my partner. Told her what was scaring me & we had a good talk. We're both trying to remain positive & wait for tomorrow.

Hopefully 24+ hours or so I'll have the information I'm after with stages & treatment. I just hope there aren't any more delays in testing & they start treatment straight away. It's the not knowing that is getting to me.

Thanks all for positive thoughts.

Will update tomorrow.

Kermit

Hi Kermit,

Looking at diet seems a much more positive move than guessing at staging.

It is never easy to break this type of news to anyone, let alone your son. It will probably take him time to take this all in. I am sure that, with the benefit of time, he will come around, and prove to be a help to both of you on his Mum’s cancer journey (or more accurately, on the family’s cancer journey).

Breaking down in front of your partner doesn’t make you any less of a man. It just shows how much you care. I’m sure that your poor partner has probably shed bucket loads of tears whilst she is in hospital.

I know that it sounds strange to say this, but no matter how nasty the diagnosis, you will feel better once you know exactly what you are dealing with and start moving forward. So many people let a cancer diagnosis consume them. The thought of losing a loved one becomes the all- important factor and this just pulls you all down further into an abyss.

It is so much easier if you can be pro-active. Make family memories while you can. Take lots of photographs.  Some people with children like to make a memory box for them.  Although this sounds rather morbid, it can be a great help to their children in later life.

I hope that you get all the information you want tomorrow and that you can start moving forward with treatment.

Fingers crossed!!

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx