Hello Butterfly, Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. You have been through so much. Your Dad sounds so brave, and so do you. It's great advice to keep upbeat around him. I am starting to get over the shock and thinking more positively. I think we are close to a treatment plan now- he had a repeat colonoscopy yesterday and they are talking about radiotherapy rather than surgery. He's had the lung biopsy today and has an MR scan tomorrow. He's tired and pale but bearing up. Hope your Dads OK. xxxxx

Well that's all the tests completed. Been a stressful and tiring week for my Dad and for my Mum- but they are chilling out now on front of the tv. Next appointment is not til 1st November- when presumably they will get all the results, a prognosis and a treatment plan. In the meantime a bit of peace for them and a chance to do normal things.  

Well we now know that Dad has his bowel surgery on 17th then when recovered he goes to Newcastle for chemo for his lung. No spread to anywhere else thankfully. Seems so much for anyone to go through- never mind someone of 79. Hope it's worth it. Scared we will lose him anyway after he endures loads of suffering from the gruelling treatments. What was disappointing was that my parents went for their appointment today expecting a treatment plan but saw only the lung specialist who did not know what the plan was re the bowel. But they were asked to attend for preassessment while they were there- even though there had been no proper discussion yet re proposed bowel surgery. When I rang them when they got home they still didn't know what was happening. It took a phone call to the key worker who advised that his surgery was planned for the 17th and the bowel surgeon would see him to discuss risks, benefits and answer questions on the 14th.  It seems that he should have been sent an appointment earlier to discuss bowel surgery but was never sent it. At least we know what's happening now finally!! 

Hi, it is so nice to hear I am not alone.  My dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer in may this year & it was also the worst day of my life I was in complete shock!! I was with my mum & dad & tried so hard not to cry but I just couldn't hold it in. He has since had a stoma In July but the cancer had now spread to his lung also, but like everyone is saying we have just got to stay positive,   Dad has not been able to have operation as he was told it would be to dangerous as he also has cyrosis of the liver!  So dad has now had his 1st session of chemo on Wednesday. I've not cried in front of him since as I'm just trying to be strong! But it's hard isn't !! We have just got to be there for our loved ones, I must say the Macmillan team have been amazing . Take care everyone x

Hello! Thank you so much for replying to my post. You are further through the journey with your Dad- but they clearly have the same problems. I think my Dad will have a stoma- but that's not been discussed with him yet. Not sure how he will cope. I am like you- shocked and trying so hard to be strong and not cry. His poor tired face. My heart is broken for all he is facing. So scared. Please stay in touch and me know how your Dad is getting on. Best wishes. Linda xxx

Hi Linda,  it is really nice chatting to someone who understands what I am going through! I will definitely keep in touch, my mum is very down aswell at the moment so I'm  kinda looking after both of them, do you have mum? Debbie xx

Dads been admitted and we've had to leave him on the ward. That was the hardest part! Feeling heartbroken as he looked so vulnerable. Really frightened re the outcome tomorrow. He goes down at 8:30. He's the only one on the list. Anything from 4 hours if straightforward to 9 or 10 hours if complicated. May or may not need high care. They have advised us to ring at 4pm tomorrow. Hoping we can see him tomorrow night. Glad Im here to support my Mum- dread to think how she would be on her own. Not eating and sitting with her head in her hands I think. 

Hello Butterfly89,

I have just come across your post and I just wanted to ask if you still have your dad with you, I'm so sorry if you don't and I apologise.

I am asking as my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer this February with is incurable as it has travelled to his liver and lungs. He has just finished 6 months of chemotherapy to stop it spreading however at the end of that period caught pneumonia and had to stay in hospital 5 days. Before that point he didn't have any side affects and was still positive and carrying on seeing friends and family. Within a few weeks of pneumonia he started being sick, couldn't use the toilet and was again taken to hospital for emergency surgery as his bowel tumour had obstructed he is 10 days post op now and has a permanent stoma bag now fitted.

We saw the consultant yesterday and was told the chemotherapy hasn't worked and the bowel tumour had obviously grown as needed to be removed, the liver lesions had reduced but minimally and there was new lesions on his lungs.

Before treatment they said if he doesn't have any treatment he could have only 9 month to 1 year, but with treatment would still only be 3 years.

They have said after he builds his strength up over 4 weeks they will start a different chemotherapy for 3 months and will see if any trials are available at the Manchester Cancer Centre but basically as a last resort.

So as my sister sees it is well basically as the treatment hasn't worked does that mean it's like he hasn't had treatment so the life expectancy was now up to 1 year.

Well he was diagnosed in February and ts now June.

Since his pneumonia and emergency bowel surgery he is a different person, he is rapidly losing weight, very pale, can hardly walk around the house, no interest in doing anything or holding a conversation with us, if we try and ask him anything or help he gets frustrated with us. I don't know what to say to him or do to help none of us do. We take turns staying with my mum just to be around if he needs anything. But he's only 51 had a great job, lots of friends a good social life always laughing and telling dad jokes. Seeing him decline this way is awful and he didn't ask the question at the appointment I went to with him on how these results change the overall outcome. They said the 1st chemotherapy was his best choice as they had tested it on the tumour, so this other chemo is 2nd resort are they just giving him it rather than saying there's nothing more they can do.

If this one doesn't stop the spreading has anyone else had the same experience and do you have your family member still with you or how long was they still with you?

I can't handle just watching him deteriorate it's heartbreaking. My sister asked me to ask the consultant when he will feel normal again as she misses her dad :(

Thankyou in advance everyone.

Sending my thoughts and prayers to everyone dealing with this awful disease x

Hi everyone. My dad has just been diagnosed with bowel cancer.  I am a nurse, and you would think that would have prepared me for this-but I am devastated. I am an only child, and just feel totally helpless.  He has a rectal tumour which  is obstructing his bowel.  He was given a stoma last week, but he also has a lesion on his prostate and shadows on his liver.  He is still in hospital at the moment, and is in a lot of pain when he tries to sit.  They said he will be offered chemo, but he needs to weigh up the effects it will have on him, and the quality  of his life that he has left. His cancer is aggressive.  He still thinks he will be given surgery to remove the tumour, and I haven't got the heart to tell him that it's not going to happen. I am trying to be strong for my mother, and my family but I am grieving for him already, and really struggling to take it all in.

Hello Staffy Mum,

I am so sorry to hear the news about your dad's diagnosis. I'm crossing my fingers for a good treatment outcome for him, please keep us updated.

As I discussed above my dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer in February this year. It had already spread to his liver and lungs so was offered just palliative chemotherapy for 6 months. They said without chemo would be 9 months to 1 year survival rate but with treatment up to 3 years. 

He started his chemo, unfortunately just before his 3 month scan he had a full bowel obstruction so had to have emergency surgery to remove the bowel tumour, had a stoma bag fitted but 3 weeks previous had been rushed into hospital with pneumonia so it was a scary time. The scan showed it was more aggressive than first thought, the bowel tumour had obviously continued to grow and a new area was in his collapsed lung.

He really became quite down after his stoma and didn't wnat to see anyone ot go out the house, but it's been 2 months since that was fitted and his mood has improved so much.

He has started a different chemotherapy as my dad just didnt want to not have anything. But he has mentioned he knows this one is the 2nd choice so is very unlikely to do anything.

He was referred to the Christie hospital and has just signed up to start a trial once this round of chemotherapy finishes.

Basically this will be the last resort for him and we all have everything crossed for a miracle.

He is only 51 and he only noticed a few bowel changes a few months before his diagnosis.

He has just been given the ok from his work to return on light duties a few hours a day on the week he doesnt have his chemo but this is for his mental sanity to take the focus on just sitting at home and waiting around for whatever next. So we are all pleased he will be able to have a bit more of a normal life like before his diagnosis.

It will take your dad some time to get over the shock of his operation and stoma bag being there. My dad has been through stages of being down, angry, pushing us away, but the occasional telling him has done him good and he realises we are lal in it together and he's not alone.

Just being their for him is all you can do at the moment and when the time is right try and push for 2nd opinions or a suitable trial for him. 

My dad's symptoms on the 2nd chemo has only been a few tingly fingers and can't eat anything cold apart from that he is all OK.

However the first chemo he was so tired and no energy.

I'm sending you and your family all my prayers, also see if your dad will give you or someone permission to speak to the consultant on their behalf as sometimes my dad doesnt think at the time then asks questions after.

Xxx