hello again eachnewday,

I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am – cancer is SO unfair. I don't think you are expected to feel motivated about anything right now, grief is all consuming and I hope you're looking after yourself and just letting your mind and body do whatever they need to do right now (if that makes sense).

my mum is okay, thank you so much for asking. she was only hospitalised with an infection on sunday evening and we were told she was going to die the next day. she is so dependent on oxygen that she would die on the way to the hospice so i hate the fact that she isn't in the "right" place – somewhere where they know how to give palliative care. i spent most of the day with her which is comforting but she gets so upset because the nurses don't do the "nice" things like help her brush her teeth or wash her hair :( 

I'm glad my advice helped you a bit and that your wonderful mum passed away peacefully with you by her side – just having you there would have been a huge comfort to her. i already know that when my mum is gone, after i have grieved, i am going to spend the rest of my life being absolutely fearless and making her so so proud. maybe one day that will be your motivation too.

please keep in touch if it makes you feel better xxx