Hi MiGi

Good to see you back, in a weird sort of way! I’ve been thinking of you and wondering how things were going for you. I’m so sorry about the way your dad has been treated, but am continually amazed by how you deal with everything that’s going on, and how you help others despite your own circumstances. Take care. xxxx

My ex partner has stage 4 cancer lungs and stomach. Is to late to catch it

Hi my is name is maggie  my ex partner has stomach and lung cancer which he contracted from being in a prison cell that had asbestos in and now he has 2 months to live

Hi there hunny ...

So sorry it's been so long .. it was seeing your picture brought you back to mind ...  how are things now .. I'm thinking of you .. and what a hard , sad , journey you've travelled... but your made of tough stuff .. sounds like you take after your daddy ... 

Well if you ever feel o.k to come back and let us know how you are .. no matter how long ... would love to know ... sending you one of my spiecial nanny hugs to you .... 

Chrissie x 

Hi eveyone! Oh my gosh, I wish I had good news but I don’t. Well dad is still with us so that IS good but last time I posted I was full of hope and it went wrong. When we chased up dads appointment for the scan they promised they said it wasn’t necessary and when we chased up the blood tests they said that they were going to use the ones taken at the time of diagnosis. So basically they had fobbed dad off and gotten his hopes up for nothing. I don’t believe they had any intention of scanning him again and I don’t believe that they used old blood tests. If they did it’s even more disgraceful because they should have already known whether or not he was eligible for treatment but they said they checked this time and he’s not. It’s just hard to know what to believe and it took 6 weeks of us nagging to be told this. So dad was crushed Mum cried all the way home dad went into another depression. I don’t know how I felt. Angry I think and just like I knew from day one they aren’t interested. But he’s a bit happier now. He s getting much weaker and I’ve noticed he trembles a lot lately. He can’t eat proper food anymore. He has his fortisips everyday and a bowl of porridge but he said he’s getting to the point where he can’t stomach h porridge now. He can’t stand the smell of food it makes him sick so it’s hard for mum not being able to cook and they did have a bit of a row over it last night. He’s much more breathless so is on oxygen permanently. He’s had his pain medication increased a few times. It’s just hard like it is for everyone but we are getting on with it and trying our best. He sleeps a lot now and he can be too exhausted to talk but other days like today he’ll be laughing and chatting away. It’s so up and down. He did tell me that he didn’t want a funeral just a direct cremation but now mums decided she wants a small funeral with just us. She said it can be arranged with the crematorium directly that we go and follow the coffin in and watch him go. She said she needs to do that or else there’ll be bo closure type of thing ( I hate that word!) I’ve been trying to bring it up with him but I feel bad because he’s already told me what he wants but also I don’t want to keep from him what mums going to do after I promised him. So I’ve got to tell him. He won’t mind, he’ll know it’s just comfort for my mum but I just wish I didn’t have to say it. I’ll be the one organizing it see and I can’t  do that if I don’t tell him. Everything else is ok ish. There’s lots to be negative about but so much that’s positive too. My sons been staying at home for the summer my daughter is working at hospitals on placements now. My twins are just the cutest little fairies on the planet! It’s a really tough time for everyone but somehow we find the strength to pull through. Because everyone on here knows we have too! Big hugs and love to everyone. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi migi, I think it very rotten of the hospital to get your hopes up like that, [I actually thought of lot stronger words but there not allowed on forum], but to not even do tests it's unbelievable things could have changed with your father now nobody knows, wish there were better circumstances to talk to you, hope you get sorted about the cremation your stuck in the middle of it, best wishes.. Billy 

Oh my hunny ,

I can't imagine just how your still standing and not hitting out at everyone at hospital ... if you logged his story , no one would think anyone could go through so much ....  but right now, it feels like your dad wouldnt be strong enough for treatments .. and really would you want to see him go through that now .. theres a time to fight, and a time to count every day and make them as comfortable as you can .. just keep his pain meds working ...  

We saw my brother in law go from fit and strong to where, like your dad, couldn't bare food .. and he went to skin and bone ... that is really hard to see ... but wer all here, tagging on to your journey with dad ... all reaching a hand out ... and a shoulder to lean on ... he's one tough cooky your daddy .... 

So glad your kids are doing well .. sounds like they give you much to smile about .. which will keep you going ...ying and yang ... to differences to feelings to keep you grounded ...

Well always here ... sending a vertual hug to you and dad ...and mum too ... Chrissie  

Hello guys! Thank you, I’m so unhappy with the hospital and the way they’ve been but I haven’t had the energy to really challenge them. It’s silly things too like the oxygen service engineer turned up to deliver masks and he noticed that my dads oxygen was turned up to 5. He had a complete freak out with my mum and I. I told him that we’d been told by the consultant that dad could have between 2 and 5 when necessary and he asked if I had proof?! I didn’t know what he meant! But he went into a complete lecture telling us we weren’t doing my dad any favours and were going to give him oxygen poisoning and he went back and reported us to the hospital. So we had the oxygen nurse ring to tell us there were safety concerns and she was coming out. Mum freaked out completely and turned the machine off completely then dad had a funny turn, they called an ambulance and told them he’d oxygen poisoned himself. It was pandemonium. It took me two weeks to calm Mum down (autistic) I dealt with the nurse when she came out and it turns out that if your oxygen levels are increased, whoever decides that HAS to write a prescription for it. It’s noy enough for the consultant to just tell you he has to officially prescribe it in writing. I didn’t know that! How would I?! So I got a new prescription off the nurse etc but I was fuming with them oxygen company for scaring Mum and dad like that and at the consultant for telling us but not writing it out. It’s all fine now he’s on 24/7 oxygen but the fuss caused was awful and I’m fed up of telling the professionals to please tread carefully with mum because of her mental health. They don’t seem to realize that every time they do something like this it’s a major blow and Exhausting for my parents. It sent her over the edge and like I said 2 weeks to calm her down. The situation all round just feels crazy. We’ve never experienced it before so it’s all new, I think Igbo we knew more it might have been different but yes dad’s not well enough for treatment now, he’s way past that bless him. We are just trying to spend as much time as possible with him and we’re enjoying that bit even though it’s  hard to watch him fade away. 

But thank you for the hugs and messages. Sending hugs back to you guys. It’s just a case of staying strong and getting through it. I have so many people relying on me I can’t break. I think if I didn’t I might but the kids and my mum force me to stay focused. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Just a thought ...

Have you called Marie Currie... they do so much in your dad's situation ...  I'm sure they'd help your mum cope if they knew about her health ... and they have trained staff to sit with your dad, and give you all a bit of respite ... go on their home page and give it a try ... nothing to loose hunny ...

Chrissie xx